Dear ones, are you aware of the shadow that follows you
Are you prepared for life to crack you open
And shine the brightest light beams past the surface
In our deepest prayers we ask for strength
We ask for connection
We ask for healing
For our dreams to land into the shape of our imaginations
We believe mountains can be moved
That thunder rumbles from the heavens
That love is everlasting and passion pulses within us
Are you prepared to be broken open
To be molded and mended a new
To be aware of the shadow that follows you
You must experience your presence within it
When I was in my early 20s I remember praying for God to have me experience whatever I needed to , in order to be helpful to others. I always wanted to be a good listener, that took me years to realize I wasn’t as good as I thought I was. My kids told me that. I listened for countless hours to their stories and moments and spent late nights up with them listening to their days.
Then one day I asked my son what he would change about me, something I had the power to change, not something I already did I couldn’t go back and fix. He answered this,” I wish you would listen first without a response and without a reaction and make me wait to come back and debate the point after you processed it.” He wanted to be able to debate NOW, not later, to be heard fully without my own processing, because to him that meant he wasn’t heard and I was gearing up for a reaction.
That wasn’t my take on it, however I changed that as fast as I could and learned a response or reaction wasn’t even necessary. He just wanted to be heard fully and completely and acknowledged for it without any response from his mom.
Later I learned my daughters felt the same. This left me feeling as if I was never to be heard and I had no say in any matter at all without them feeling as if I was one over them.
Frustration for years surfaced and often still I am reminded, we all want to be heard, a response is not always necessary or needed and a reaction is always best left beyond the shadows.