In the consumption of experience complete overflow spills over
No comfort zone to this process
A complete and deliberate graceful transcendence must arrive
A wake-up to what is inside
Memories flow and triggers of the past simultaneously let go
The breakdown and astonishment render inspired risk to be free
Anger must be unmasked as its true self to transform into awareness and not control
As the waves create white caps and the wind howls with fury
I am reminded to be still and let go of worry
Control masks itself and hides its insecurity and the wind forces its abrupt revealing
Inner conversations of fear disengage the heart and build among the scars
Consciousness must arise and trauma is a reminder to align again the heart, body, mind and soul
Purge tension and evacuate from familiarity and risk courage on an unknown path
Invite peace and solitude to your present state
Trust in the disassembling inside and arise to the peaceful place you can reside
Gentleness and strength co-exist for good, where cruelty lives within its own anguish and storm of core weakness it must persevere to overcome.
Approaching the wind within a storm
In the dusk of night
An unbroken breeze blows by in a rush
Protection and honor stand near
Weakness lurks through the clouds
Roaring with counterfeit strength
Danger is uncovered
Revealed under the moon
Dusk is broken and starlights glimmer
Must a wave be broken to fall
Must brokenness be inevitable
Stars erupt within another cosmic space
Still seen with openness and grace
Gentleness is strength often mistaken for less
Where cruelty is another’s weakness at best
True kindness is organic unable to repress
Courage is fierce and needs not to impress
Must grief dive so deep it shatters open the skies
Yes, it must
It will be the shattering that inpsires your strength
It will be the grief that erupts your soul into its truest self
It will be the inevitable brokenness ravaging your heart
Before you start to see that grief is a gift you will need
TO LIVE COURAGEOUSLY UNVEILED
To all my readers, it is with a grateful and full heart I thank you for supporting, reading, encouraging and becoming my dear friends over the years. Thank you to you all.
My writing is always evolving and changing as it has over the years as life changes and healing happens and challenges occur. I am always most inspired by the deepest challenges in life and write my best when life is cracking me wide open.
It is within the cracking open I have my biggest growth spurts and see deeper and deeper, showing me we are truly infinite energy with no end.
As we all know, energy can be used for good or for cruelty to ourselves and others, make no mistake their are both kinds and both cross paths and it is in that we will learn to be more alert, to find our deepest truths, tap into our believe system at a deeper level, It is not within churches or people but straight from the arms of our Creator.
Breathe in all your pain and all your grief and then breathe it out in fiercely placed courage and let it empower and strengthen your entire life and others, it is not for borrow or buy , it is not to be taken or left, it is yours always. USE IT or someone else will abuse it!
Perspective is an ever-changing event, a willingness to bend and turnaround, it is created through movement inside and out and inspired by experiences all around.
Where you stand is the perspective at hand
Turn around, stand upside down
Perspective is different all around
From ones eyes, organization may apply
From another’s eyes a mess is addressed
Alignment depends on where you stand
Not an understanding of what is planned
With two views communication can be misused
There is no one that can see exactly like you
The core of who we are is the focal point of near and far
Past and present play a part
Memory is stored in our heart
Experiences inspire our perspective
Perspective is built from our experiences
Planting seeds is how the forest grows
Tearing it down gives you different results
Build your perspective with grace
Understanding it is different in another’s space
These photos are the exact same log with the same rock stacks, nothing was changed or moved except my view. Sometimes when we take the time to look at things from a different view we start to see something new. Something new to learn and a different experience so we can start to see other’s views too.
When we are able to sit in the pain and in the muck of life, there is where we see what were made of!
To give honor and respect to another
Honor and respect must first flow through you
To build a secure foundation for oneself inside
Requires tenacity and determination
To love oneself through the highest and lowest of times
Requires oneself to experience love
Love is continually gained and lost before we understand its significance
Even then there is an unknowing
An unknowing opens up vulnerability
To stand in the muck of life and be vulnerable
Is where we gain our best self
It is where we find what we’re made of
Where we get to see where we paid attention
Where we have gone and what we took with us
I realized after I lost my 24 year old son two years ago now, that pain really is inevitable, it happens to everyone and can happen without warning. We can be in our most vulnerable place inside and something happens and splits you wide open. You weren’t ready, you weren’t prepared and the honest truth is NOTHING could prepare you.
So then what? It is there where everything in our lives that we either let go of or held on to, shows up. Every lesson and every heartache is remembered and the wounds are fresh again. However in that moment where the heart remembers the pain it also remembers the healing and how you gave that attention or not.
If you didn’t put the work in and ignored it and allowed it to heal shut without acknowledging and entering into it, it will continue to walk you through it until you do, and then it will challenge you to make sure you learned. Its inevitable!
The lesson from something profound and often something so small can trigger all the same emotions. It is simply when you can feel the chaos of the moment and stand in it with freedom you are not in the chaos of this experience anymore. Reflect on the familiarity of being here before and what was learned and how honor and love are applied
Shoot from your heart it will always give you the best shot!
Introduced to the skies
Viewed from the lenses of my eyes
Shot with my heart
Melted in the leaves
Embraced by a breeze
Open to a peaceful ease
I was once fully there
Among the blooms
Looking for you
I saw you
In the bloom
I’m a human experiencing life, experiencing me.
For the last almost 2 years since my son got his wings I have completely forgotten who I am, how to breathe , smile and get super excited and why I ever worked out and was super healthy and what it did for my soul and my mind and my body.
I wish I could have chosen my feelings somedays, I know it has been said “you chose it all”, DO WE?
Well I sure the heck didn’t choose my son to have cancer and then jet off to heaven before I was ready and if you think I had the power to change grief, THINK AGAIN!
We choose what we can and then we choose how to change the emotion based on an experience. It doesn’t mean it changes, it just means our thoughts are trying to work it out and create a new perspective so we can survive and preferably thrive.
Trauma changes your cellular level, your hearts memories, your responses are not all immediate. You must train your body, muscles, nerves, thoughts and beliefs to do something different.
I used to believe, just believe it. If you believe it, you also must be able to follow up.
When my son left( that D word is just not in my vocabulary) I’m telling you that my life was sucked out of me like a fighter jet going through me at double the capacity of reality.
NOTHING seemed to be left… I was wiped OUT inside and OUT.
Im still wiped out in so many ways and Im not going to pretend I’m NOT.
What I am going to tell you is that being present in NOW , being present in the reality of where I am at is how I’m moving and healing. NOT IN where anyone else thinks , but where I know.
YOU CAN ONLY GROW FROM WHERE YOUR REALITY IS! QUIT trying to grow from someone else’s space or the space in which you think you’re supposed to be.
BE WHERE YOU ARE AND LOVE THE JOURNEY IT’S THE ONLY WAY… don’t waste time in the pretending you’re somewhere you’re not. BE where you are, that is the only route to where you want to go!
Just don’t forget their is a route and make sure you keep moving!
Brokenness tears down walls
Freed in the midst of unjust ways
Through struggle and through doubt
Chained to pain
Drugged by societies vanity
Judgement is owned by questioned sanity
Strained by grief
Searching the halls for secret walls
Where is the escape route
Then brokenness lead the way
The walls perceived, were only a belief
Brokenness rumbled through every crack
The inner echoes shattered like glass
The kingdom has no walls
No halls that echo our calls
It is the freedom of creation
The divine wireless call above it all
Get back up and stand tall
The kingdom has no doors
No ceiling, no floors
It’s infinite and more
It’s every sunrise and every storm
It has no chains
Other than the ones we create in discouragement and shame
Courage and Joy
It has been in my deepest pains I became chained.
I found that within the walls of my own doubt, I denied myself, I built a Kingdom within that was not what Gods plan was when Grace spoke, the kingdom of God is within.
I visualized a palace, a castle per se, with brick walls and long halls, darkness at times, emptiness and isolation closed in .
I had no escape route it seemed, I didn’t even realize I had done that until one day on my morning walk with God and my dogs, I was stopped in my tracks.
With the sun shining in the morning glare everywhere, where the mist laid on my skin and the clouds remained on the horizon again.
I GOT IT!!!!!
I felt God…………. WITHIN is NOT with walls and halls, there are no bricks and mortar and bridges to cross.
Within is open like nature, full of views and the freedom to move, it is not entrapment my child with doors and corridors, it is not the perception you created to protect your fears.
It is in the wilderness of pain your joy is found, release the chains, brokenness is simply an openness to recieve.
The chains fell off and the walls fell down and the castle I built that held my grief, my anger and my doubt had no where to be stored and I ran out of rent to pay the bill for the storage unit I built.
Phillipians 1:12-26 ,Thank you Paul for your words today confirming COURAGE is without SHAME and with God I will remain!
Fear is centered in the very doubt you allow near, set free guilt and shame and create space for light to remain in your perfectly created frame.
It is in the heart of the matter where love resides
It’s where walls are never built to blame
Quilt squares of life are not sewed together with guilt and shame
Pray forth a solution in place of space creating distance
Spaces must be carefully filtered regularly with light, love and persistance
Where trust is left without oxygen, doubt will seep into the cracks
Its without pumping oxygen of love and light we have allowed ourselves to become unpliable
Less penetrates the surface when we are not filtering our systems carefully to remove debris
Stretch your communications today so that tomorrow does not repeat yesterday
Make tomorrow stronger than today and today be present in everyway
The pace inside is based on our own courage to surrender the entangled knots inside to the stillness that knows no time or restraints!
Demands its authority
Appearing through emotions
Tears overflow integrated and entangled
Happiness, sadness and surrender have no separation
Inevitable movement continues
“Stop please”, I ask, “just for a moment”
“Slow down, I dont want to miss a second”
The ocean responds, ” I am ”
There are times inside the chaos and the history of trauma and our pasts get so knotted up inside we can not feel the stillness, there is a lack of movement and oxygen.
When I get to this place I always realize I am holding my breathe, not trusting and worrying about things I can not control. Then a dilemma, when I decide and realize what I can change, often it’s not what I want to change.
This brings anxiety and it all starts to overflow and tears come like a dam that just broke. It is inevitable, emotions will move, our lives move, our bodies move, our lungs take in and let out air, movement. Our hearts beat, our blood moves, our world continues and the pace inside must find a way to courageously let go and flow with peace and stillness.
Stillness is not without movement. This is a term set out to teach one to stop and feel what is moving without additional purposeful movement, such as the heart and lungs, and our blood flowing.
Meditation and body position invite courage to surrender giving room for oxygen to change the chemistry of the emotion and anxiety to freedom.
This is a lifestyle not a quick fix…