Indents in the sand

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To fully experience life as a journey you must first embrace change.

~Kerri Elizabeth~

Adventure through the memories of your heart
Reflections of paths crossing
Pushing and pulling
Have you arrived
Or has the journey just begun
Indents in the sand
Ruffled feathers before you land
It’s in the flight your soul soars
It’s in the landing
You look up for more

Sunshine

Part 3 “Changed Forever”

The Universe belongs to us all in abundance, the resource of all healing, understanding, unconditional love and freedom to explore more, when we are open to more, more opens to us!

~Kerri Elizabeth~

Down a dirt road…..

In a space where my wounds were opened and Mother Natures land held me and the skies enveloped me and Zak(my forever 24 year old son in heaven) confirmed his presence to show me the way.

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It was an early cold morning, a long night talking with Zak, trusting he had my back. Things were different inside me this morning and I felt like Zak had my hand.

I didn’t know what I was doing or what was about to happen, but I knew it was going to change me forever.

Just as Zak told me it would.

No words were said, an uncomfortable silence lead the morning. A story that would change my life that day arose. I roared from an inner flight or fight, everything inside, that had been bottled up, unshared, unheard and undone was ready to fight for me, finally.

I erupted from a silence inside, every emotion spilled out like a waterfall. It was spilling out of every cell of me, frustration and silence were completely uncapped, there was a break down that soon gave me ground for a break through and the universe said, “Lets DO this!”

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This is where it gets sticky, where someone else is involved and blame can be placed. However when you blame, you give away your power to shift your lesson into wisdom. I surrendered into it and let it eject from my core with the force it was demanding. It was time to shift and that meant inviting source energy to swirl me in gratitude for the moment presented.

It was about gratitude not blame, it was about standing in my truth and my power and allowing the universe to fill me with the natural emotions I was honored to experience and I was trusted to assimilate it all, so I could eventually share it.

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THEN…..My entire life felt as if it stopped, for a second, panic, I embraced it, for a second anger, I embraced it, for a second, blame, I embraced it, for a second I wandered too far into someone else’s story and needed to get back to mine.

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Ultimately it’s what is inside you that creates your view. What I saw next, was a new view, and I felt Zak say, “mom I got you”.

I looked around and the silence and serenity was one with me and all that nature offered was a part of me.

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I drove my car down the long bumpy dirt road, missing the potholes that were gracefully placed. One wrong turn of my steering wheel meant I could bottom out and rip the under carriage among other things in my car.

I had no phone service where I was and although that wasn’t a big deal to me, I knew I needed someone to be on the other line as I experienced the shock waves barreling though me.

I looked up and the dust of his truck disappeared, the engine I could no longer hear, I called and he answered, what was said next, shot me into a slow motion reality and then the phone was silent.

I was frozen in time, and I will tell you this part of the lesson is so

deep for me.

Telling one side and leaving the other side only in my journal has been something I have truly had to dig deep into before deciding. How do I tell just one part without the other, it all creates the total story, of love, loss and devastation, learning, living, creating and reinventing, or does it?

We all have a journey we must travel and for me, my journey is to stay present in my own healing because that is ultimately where I have freedom to be me, all of me! Thats where I am empowered and transformed, thats where change is made.

At the end of the day, did I live my truth, fully and without hesitation? 

Did I love with all of me?

At the end of the day, do I feel good about who I am?

Life is our experiences and what we learn from them is up to us.

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I live to the fullest and I love to the fullest. I also am hurt easily, super sensitive and I never want to hurt anyone. I’m an old soul empath and a Libra to the core, hurting anyone is the most painful thing to me and I use to own it in my own worth.

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NOT ANYMORE!

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This is one of my biggest challenges I have been doing the work on for years now. Not owning others pain, walking with them, not for them. It took me years to see this and I practice it daily, living in the present moment and asking myself, am I willing to feel it fully to heal it fully? Is it mine to heal or shall I return to sender?

I made it to the end of the dirt road carefully and took a left making it about 1/4 mile, I felt my body give way, I had no air to breathe, my chest caved in and panic and shock set in. I pulled over and went down another dirt road to cry and scream and to just let go.

I finally had service on my phone here. I called my mentor who is an energetic healer.

My panic said it all, I needed immediate energy help, I spilled out the finer details and then needed to get off the phone. I felt immediately sick and needed to scream to the heavens. I hung up and fell to the ground surrendering all of me.

I wept harder than ever on my hands and knees in the dirt and screamed to the heavens, I surrender, I don’t want anymore pain please, take me, make me, do whatever, just please no more, no more. Whatever I have to do, help me create a new path, a look outlook.

I called my mentor back and just set the phone down unable to talk. THENNNNNNNNNNN.…….. in the mountains in Utah in the hills, set nestled into the trees of a path less traveled a fighter jet flew so low and right above me I could see the details,( Utah trees where I was, were short) then another, the ground rocked, my car shook, my angel kitty took cover and I burst into tears. It was Zak, and not just one but 4 or 5 I’m still not totally sure the number but my friend said to me on the phone, its Zak. Thats Zak and if I wasn’t on the other line I’m not sure even I would believe what just happen.

In Zak’s honest engine voice, he said, ” mom what I couldn’t change on earth I can intercept from heaven, because your my mom.” I chose you to be my mom and my place as your son is never done. He continued to share with me so much more. I pulled up my boot straps and explored and wrote. This journey had just begun for me, it wasn’t just a Zak healing anymore, Zak was with me, he laid out a plan and it just kept rolling. I followed and along the way a fighter jet would confirm to me I was going the right way.

You see when Zak took his last breathe, a fight jet rocked my world as I crawled outside and laid lifeless and frozen for hours before I could move again. After he crossed over I took a long drive to my favorite place on earth. He continued to show up in fighter jets among other signs that came left and right. This one has shown up at the oddest times and places but the perfect times and places for me.

I can go on and on about Zak’s presence with me, my journey and all the signs he was so close, but this moment in perfect timing, in a fully traumatized state on my knees in the mountains of Utah in the exact second I surrendered fully, right above me, close enough to see details, he showed up to confirm to me, he intercepted my path and changed my view, exactly what I asked for at exactly the same timing.

Confirmation, we have only the power we allow!

Zak lives on and there is never a day he does not show up…………………..

Zak took me back to every space on that 40 day journey that needed restoration and a new view and we healed it all.

I am free to be ME!

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Identity

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Close your eyes, let go and feel the identity that’s revealed, this source of energy is real, you’re the beauty in the source field, not the opinions and dogmas of the world.

~Kerri Elizabeth~

 

Identity is in your energy

The essence of you

The beauty you bestow

The love you hold

The soul of you

 Your spirit

The core of more, the DNA 

The truth, the nitty gritty

Your authentic emotions and feelings

Not anothers

You’re not another’s judgements or opinions

You’re not recognition or a profile

Identity is your gift you were chosen to be and do something more than this

What is this…what is more

More is when you hear your own breathing and it’s not shallow, labored and ignored

It’s not taken for granted but explored

More is when your physical frame is relaxed and you are the door to more

More is when your heart speaks and there is no misinterpreting the message

More is when your vibration is unshakeable

More is when love flows and you are present in all that’s true for you

More is when life opens doors because you cleared space to be embraced

More is what you allow

More is a presence 

An energy flow when you decide

Your identity is nothing to hide

To know yourself, is to forget yourself

Without a thought

Identity

Is energy thats free

To be

SUNSHINE

 

Quote #3 Embrace

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Fall in place and embrace your hearts pace!

~Kerri Elizabeth~

3-day quote challenge

First, let me explain the rules:

Thank the person who nominated you.

Post a quote for 3 days and explain why it appeals to you.

Nominate 3 new bloggers each day

Thank you so much https://pascaleshealingjourney.wordpress.com/  

I’m finally getting the third one out, no one said it had to be 3 consecutive days, right?

WOW, last week went so fast, sorry for missing my weekly addition as well, I’ll do my best to get it out this week, so many amazing days and changes and so much joy and sunshine. I hope everyone is doing super fantastic. Busy summer days have arrived!

This week I pick this quote,”Fall in place and embrace your hearts pace”, for this simple reason, you have to fall into place, embrace your space, your pace and flow. When you go out of flow nothing happens except a backup of pressure and stress and nothing good is expressed.

Lean into the embracing space of your pace

Listen to your own heartbeat

Like a breeze of gentleness

Create a healthy pace of appreciation 

It takes Love to love

It takes frustration to share burdens

It takes anger to share complaints

It takes shame to share the blame

It takes guilt to remain insane

It takes LOVE TO LOVE

Love flows, it gives, it lifts, it builds

It flows, it receives, it knows

Love embraces you in a beautiful space of respected pace

Sunshine

 

Breathe into the pace your heart is asking for. Pushing yourself in some things is wonderful, however, if you are missing the beauty, the love, the healing, the breathing, the body movement that keeps you in a flow of health and happiness then your missing YOU.

I remember all too well the many years I didn’t respect my own pace. You can’t heal in this space, you don’t grow, you just change, you start to resent everything and nothing all at the same time because you cant see or feel your own emotions, while you’re trying to keep up with everything and everyone except you. YOU are the most important part of the Y O U, embrace your pace!

3 new nominees:

http://www.jrobinwhitley.net/

https://happinessbetweentails.com/

https://forcefitness.us/

 

Weekly Addition #6

Health yourself to heal yourself!

~Kerri Elizabeth~

We don’t need a reason to heal our bodies, your body is always working for you to restore and rejuvenate itself. Just like anything else you can resist or persist in the process, you can throw caution to the wind or offer in gratitude to your body what it deserves to do its absolute best.

It’s up to you.
I have many friends voice to me, “What a bummer, you can’t drink or eat normal food.”
Normal food?

I’m going to get real raw here with my thoughts on this.
Well, I can, if I want to set myself back and hurt the very system that allows me to enjoy your company. Are you going to take care of me after I eat that and I’m sick, will you bring me something healthy and sit with me while I recover? Will you enjoy watching me suffer?
How does this make sense?
What if I said,” its a bummer I can’t see you in pain and suffering and I wish I could choose food for you that will sabotage your health and peace of mind and hold you back from all your desires.

Does that make sense?
You see after eating and drinking out, everyone goes separate ways, complains for a week how they need to recover and says, “why do we do that to ourselves, was it worth it?”
What if you experienced going out and feeling amazing before, during and after and your body was rejuvenated instead of disabled.
How about we go to a place I can eat and you see how blissful it is to eat healthy, feel healthy, wake up just as blissful as today, if not more after you eat? How about you drink what I drink and feel relaxed and mindful and it’s nutritiously healing rather than depletes you?

I can say to you the same things,” what a bummer you can’t drink and eat normal food” and be significantly accurate since normal food doesn’t make you feel sick and give you hangovers. Normal, real, authentic food, cleans, cleanses, heals, rejuvenates and empowers you in every good way.
I choose this way of life, because the damage to my system, all of it, doesn’t even slightly balance with the few minutes of (others opinions of bliss) to my tongue, or the short-term buzz from alcohol that distracts me from what is really important in my life.

I can get a life buzz and a gratitude buzz with what nature intended my body to run on.

I am not exempt from escaping into less than optimal options like tequila a few times in my life, trust me when my child died that’s all I wanted to do and I did it for two weeks almost. It never turned out better the next time.

What I found out was that I just prolonged the healing and accepting the process of what I ultimately had to face. I caused great pains and a gigantic backslide to my health in mind, body, and spirit. I suffered more from that than if I would have just allowed myself to feel and flow.

I knew it at the time too, I chose differently and I paid mighty for it. Escaping my emotions and feelings was not at all what I was doing, what I was doing was adding more emotions, shame, guilt, hurt, pain, recovery, and trauma to my plate. I ate perfectly still, so that helped and I had a firm spiritual foundation I could rely on. I also had my son near me in a more powerful way than ever before and he had my back. (story to come next week.)
I have also experienced plenty of foods that set me back and I allowed myself to feel obligated to make others happy by eating for their entertainment and to please others that prepared their favorites in their kitchens with love.
At this place in my life, I realize we give the love we know and the love we have the capacity to receive in return.

However, it is in the saying no, it is in the standing in your own truth and deciding what is best for you, where you both grow.
Your body is the vessel, that takes you where you want to go. Why put gasoline in the human tank when you know the proper nutrition is what makes it run?
I have never been one of those trainers and nutritionists that offered a cost to you and then taught you what I know and watched you sabotage yourself. I know this game, I did it enough times to myself. I was familiar with how I got there and what it took to get out. So when I charge people money to get in shape and change their lives and help guide them in finding a solution to the self-sabotage, it is a partnership of love to bridge the gaps.

My goal has always been to help you in the stuck points and they usually have nothing to do with nutrition, nutrition is the easy part, it’s the facing your fears and doubts that feeds you. There is always more to why you want sugar, alcohol or make statements like, “you only live once, so why not?”

This statement brings tears flowing down my face and soaking the shirt I’m wearing as I write this. My heart has been wrapped in nutrition my entire life, for so many reasons, I was born and chosen to help others find their healthiest self and I was one of them. I know first hand the inner struggle to get here.

I know what its like to be in a less than healthy relationship with people and food, I know what its like to lose a loved one and I know what its like to feel lonely, less than enough, exhausted and frustrated to the core of your being. I know what its like to love someone that’s suffering and you can’t do a damn thing about it. I know what its like to be divorced and I know what its like to lose everything you ever worked for in a day because just giving it all up is better for your health than the fight to keep it. It’s stuff that can be replaced. I know what its like to have a child die and another be so addicted to drugs she loses herself and her own child in the process. I know what it’s like to feel guilt and endure abuse and blame. I know what its like to die and see the other side and come back for another round. I know what its like to love someone so hard you have to let go. I know what its like to lose yourself in the process of it all.

After a lifetime of opportunities to show up as my best, I can tell you that the higher vibration the food the higher the vibration of life.

This means when you live your core values no matter what the circumstances are, that you are determined to be a light to yourself and the world through your own significant love and gratitude for you, shit shifts like crazy.

The very peace you were born with surfaces, you smile even when it hurts because you know it will be ok. You cry without worrying anyone will tell you to wipe those tears and move on. You flow through the pains and discomforts and not back for another round when you choose, you. You breathe when you used to freeze. You rest when you used to push so hard you would exhaust yourself to please everyone else. You hear your body speak to you about what it desires, instead of grabbing in reactive selfish need. Your one again with your mind, body, and soul.

You arrive at the place you once abandoned yourself and a reunion of forgiveness and love is made.

Without you, you can’t make a difference to anyone.

The love you give yourself radiates equal love to the entire world. It shifts energy, gratitude, love, healing and in the grand scheme of life, it literally shifts the world.

Do you think that what you do doesn’t make a difference to the world? Think again, every thought and every shift you make shifts everything.
I have experienced more than my share of trauma in my life and how we all deal with that is different of course.

The one thing that is not different, is that our bodies need the best we can give it to have the best success is recovering.
You can have all you have ever wanted to eat in a modified delicious version, it takes time and tweaking sometimes ( just like the rest of life’s decisions) but with all the information out their today, there is no excuse for not loving your mind, body, and spirit the way it was meant to be loved.
Some starters:

  1. Change one meal a day to a modified whole foods meal.
  2. Treat yourself to a new healthier version of your favorite food.
  3. Create a new and chemical free version of something for your skin or hair.
  4. Fit in 10 mins. of exercise every day even if its 1 min. 10 times a day.
  5. Move off your chair every 20 minutes and stretch and walk.
  6. Drink water all day at least twice a week and do away with sugary drinks as a reward (a reward is not sugar, it is forgoing sugar).
  7. Stop and breathe deep in place of a stressful thought.
  8. Meditate in place of mindless snacking.
  9. Try going out with friends and drinking water instead of alcohol and watch the difference in how you communicate, and the actual changes that occur in behaviors you never noticed, even by having just one drink.
  10. Say no when it means your own health and happiness is at risk to please another.

Here are some of my favorites:

Wonderful recipes for your skin:

Healthier versions of blissful enjoyment to look and feel radiant.

Movement matters!

Your diagnosis of pain or injury might sound the same as another, but unless they have the exact same job, enjoy the exact same activities/hobbies, have the same life stressors, and have walked through life just like you… your true CAUSE of pain will be different.”

Check out her website at DocJenFit.thinkific.com, she offers courses like The Mobility Method, The Optimal Body, and Grateful for Mobility Challenge.

Every person who chooses a plan from DocJenfit and has a desire to change their health also receives a free 30 min. health session with me, just contact me with proof of your commitment and let’s get moving.

For every referral, you send to me that signs up for 5 health sessions, you will receive one for free.

SUNSHINE