YOU ARE MORE

You are more than what you thought defined you!

~Kerri-Elizabeth~

I am more than the child that grew up with fight or flight emotions and feelings

An imposter lived here, a fearful, unready and unwilling part of me

In control of nothing but wanting to control everything

Living in a darkness of the world

Running into it at the same time I was running away from it

Religion captured me and gave me a safe box to live in for years

“Oh,” God is very real to me, but religion is no longer a vice 

That box got smaller as experiences got bigger and it didn’t make sense to live there anymore

I couldn’t breathe

I couldn’t talk

I couldn’t move

I couldn’t escape the judgment of what I was told I needed to do and not what my deeper self was calling me to do

I was screaming inside for years

As if I was watching myself from a distance, I observed so much confusion and pain

Filled with insecurities grounded in shame and blame that I could never do enough to erase

What I faced was the habit energy

The energy that was continually lived in fight or flight , over compensations, under compensations and so much more

While smiling and living I was also dyeing

I was raising kids while raising myself

I was married while not even understanding what that required

I lived small because small seemed bigger than what I felt capable of handling at times

I lived on others terms because I had no idea life had terms I had the power to make

I knew deep within there was more

I knew deep within I had more

I chose more of myself many times, to then allow doubt to loosen my grip

I had no idea how to break through to that next place

Disapointing others while listening to my own calling was like climbing Mt. Everest with no training

That’s when I realized it was going to mean I had to disappoint myself

It all required me to re-train myself

I had to change my story and I was going to have to reject the current narrative and disapoint myself by announcing I was more than the skin I had lived in all these years

That would seem like a milestone in gratitude to many, however it meant to me, I had to invite part of myself to move out

I had to leave behind the blame, the shame and the rejections not just of my own but from others

I now could give myself safety

I now could stand strong for me

I could say I mattered

I could say NO

I now could disapoint another to show up for myself, knowing that the disappointment was their journey and I had no business fixing it

I had to thank the space and move away, bless it for the experiences and lessons and leave it behind

It wasn’t supposed to become me, it was suppose to teach me

It did

At the exact time it was suppose to

It happened in loss

It happend in change

It happened in pain

It happened in tears

It didn’t happen with joy or laughter

It happend when I felt no hope

It happend when I was empty

When I was my most challenged

It happened in anger

In rejections

It happened in misunderstandings I had to let go of and allow the teaching of it

It happened in letting go of people I thought would never leave

It happend in the learning of how to have a relationship with my son from the heavens, instead of in the physical presence

It happened in sickness

It happened in the lowest times, the hardest times, the most doubtful times

It is still happening and I understand that these times are never to be wished away , but to be observed with new insight

To look into pain and to ache while you smile is part of life’s best and most insightful journeys to success

Happiness is a foundation that requires remodeling continually

 

Sunshine

Forest of Life

Trees

In the forest of life, silence and stillness meet the curiosity of the night and calmness kisses your cheek goodnight.

~Kerri-Elizabeth~

 

In the faint hours of the night 

Silence is at its peak

Abundance appears 

Deep in the core there is so much more

There is stirring within the stillness

Overflowing tears and blessings given 

Like a kiss from heaven

Calmness settles in 

Everything stirring quiets again

Night falls upon the forest floors

Trees disappearing within heavens doors

Again a stirring occurs

Daylight sleepers have risen from the winds

Curiosity stirs again

Calmness settle in

Observe the changes within

SUNSHINE

Beautiful and Wonderfully Made

 

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When we are able to sit in the pain and in the muck of life, there is where we see what were made of!

~Kerri-Elizabeth~

To give honor and respect to another

Honor and respect must first flow through you

To build a secure foundation for oneself inside

Requires tenacity and determination

To love oneself through the highest and lowest of times

Requires oneself to experience love

Love is continually gained and lost before we understand its significance

Even then there is an unknowing

An unknowing opens up vulnerability

To stand in the muck of life and be vulnerable 

Is where we gain our best self

It is where we find what we’re made of

Where we get to see where we paid attention

Where we have gone and what we took with us

Shows up

SUNSHINE

 

I realized after I lost my 24 year old son two years ago now, that pain really is inevitable, it happens to everyone and can happen without warning. We can be in our most vulnerable place inside and something happens and splits you wide open. You weren’t ready, you weren’t prepared and the honest truth is NOTHING could prepare you.

So then what? It is there where everything in our lives that we either let go of or held on to, shows up. Every lesson and every heartache is remembered and the wounds are fresh again. However in that moment where the heart remembers the pain it also remembers the healing and how you gave that attention or not.

If you didn’t put the work in and ignored it and allowed it to heal shut without acknowledging and entering into it, it will continue to walk you through it until you do, and then it will challenge you to make sure you learned. Its inevitable!

The lesson from something profound and often something so small can trigger all the same emotions. It is simply when you can feel the chaos of the moment and stand in it with freedom you are not in the chaos of this experience anymore. Reflect on the familiarity of being here before and what was learned and how honor and love are applied

STILLNESS MOVES

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In the stillness you will hear!

~Kerri-Elizabeth~

 

It seems the stillness is where everything is found

Where movement comes alive

Where the waves crashing tell a story

Where the leaves dance and sing with glory

Where the birds soar with intension 

Where pain and joy have no tension

Where love remains throughout

It seems in the stillness is where everything is found

Where feeling is in the beat of your heart

Where your mind sinks into a rational peace 

It seems that in the stillness is where everything is found 

When your lost, be still, you will hear the whisper

Be still it is where everything is found

SUNSHINE

 

In my stillness I can feel the intensity of all that moves around me. I can feel my heart beating and my chest rising. I can almost see with inner eyes the blood flowing through me.  I can see the pain in another eyes and wonder is that the reflection of so much more to be healed within me?

Where you are calm you will hear, where you are still you will know, where you find peace, love will grow.

Your body is already speaking to you, it wants more or less of something, it may be in pain, or sickness or anger has driven a wedge between you and stillness. Sadness may be filled with joyful gestures to cover up the feeling we can’t seem to shake and loss may be settling in your bones with numbness you can’t seem to touch.

What if all of this is ok and what if all of this is the beautiful process we need to become our truest version of ourselves. What if who you are right now is exactly who you need to be ,to become who you want to be. What if every step from this space is a step forward into the acceptance, it is the process. It is the falling apart that requires us to heal.

LOVE, SUNSHINE

Raindrops

It is when you realize all attachments to emotions are like rain.

~Kerri Elizabeth~

Within every rain drop a mystery 

Power in a rain-drop creates history

Anticipation of more appears

Raindrops enter like heaven’s tears

Cleansing all thats near

How many are there

Where did they hide

Is there matter attached inside

How does condensation appear

With weather, with temperature, with the clouds near

Why don’t the clouds fall down

Does a raindrop feel the ground

Raindrops inspiring curiosity and wonder

Often joined by sunshine and thunder

Watering the earth 

Filling the lakes

Provoking inspiration through Gods grace

 

SUNSHINE

Somedays will be so hard you wonder, how and where, what and why? What is hard now , won’t seem hard later, your strength is always challenged by the coming together and falling apart of life. The rain will come, it will wash away some things and it will dam up others.

It will depend where you are standing when it rains, you must decide when the rain is talking to you and when its cleansing you. Is it moving you or is it cleansing you and how will you know?

Nature always explains everything, it is the grace of God speaking.

You may not see grace in it, you may only see fear or grief and so many other feelings of despair you just don’t want to bare.

When you stand in the grace the emotions will not be attachments but simply rain drops reminding you, you’re alive!

Butterflies

See the Butterfly in the light?

It is in the transformation we find our design.

~Kerri-Elizabeth~

A butterfly will make many changes before it flies
Struggles will be part of their life
A necessary morphoses designed for each
The delicate awaiting of transformation will teach
The struggle is not always clear
A need to know is often driven by fear
Transformation comes within the struggles of time
A willingness to arrive in your own design

SUNSHINE

 

There will be pain and blessings, smiles and tears, both will be ok, both are needed to be who we are meant to be. Without struggle we would never know freedom. Without transformation, we would never see growth. Without love there would never be pain but with no pain we would never know the depth our love can reach.

To arrive in our own design, to me, means that we arrive with all our emotions, our lessons, our grief, our sorrows. To bring our joys , our trials and triumph and that we arrive in our fullest capacity to delicately transform with clarity that some things are never clear just a necessary part of our design.

Love and Hugs, Sunshine

 

Rays Speak

Stand in the rays of glory and surrender to rejuvenation and renewal.

~Kerri-Elizabeth~

Within your rays

Prayers are arranged

Glory speaks to the heart

Reflection meets presence

Resemblance delivers peace

Surrender rejuvenates intuition

Renewal arrives with ease

It is in your image 

Under your rays 

Renewal stays

Sunshine

 

When you just stand under the rays of Gods grace, the energy of this miracle will embrace you in your place. It will renew you, rejuvenate you and it will  speak to you in the presence of surrendering to a voice that is most loving.

We tend to be hardest on ourselves and can question our thoughts and our emotions to a point confusion tires and clutters our intuitions and turns our knowing into a guessing game of maybes. 

I have found that just even a moment under the rays renews my spirit and fills me with gratitude and my breathing becomes calmer and somehow I am delivered into peace with ease.

It is the rays of sunshine and the lakes and river waters I am called often, to hear the most steady voice and in this I am fully revived.

Find what that is for you and be called to it and listen.

 

 

 

The Stirring

It will be in the stirring you find yourself in the gap!

Kerri-Elizabeth

In the aroma of the wind and the brisk breeze that grasps your hand will lead your heart to purpose

In the flooding of rivers and sudden changes in the lands brings surrender to our creator

The shaking and shivering of trees and leaves circulate a rippling of awareness

The awakening of the birds and the sounds of nature’s presence is the only place you will hear purpose in a voice

Anything less is a counterfeit excursion upon the ship of distractions

You will feel an ongoing stirring and a pulling into surrender that will lead you to where you can hear

In the midst of any storm there is a center of sight, an eye of truth that you can not escape

It is always within this view you will find a gap nothing exists except me

Interference has no place to dance within this gap

This is where you must travel and adventure

This is where the wrestling of wildlife and rattling of leaves lead you

This is where you have been lead after asking, why the lightning storm

Few will stop to hear and see with a desire for knowing, it is within the center and the aftermath peace is formed

Few will feel and only see a sight without ever knowing purpose

Sunshine

After and intense lightening storm and the power of its might and the storms across our nation my soul has been overflowing with emotion and empathy.

I pray for healing across the lands that have been flooded and changed at such rapid rates, where people have lost lives and families that once felt safe are now reaching for their most inner strengths and faith.

It is within that stirring we find, when all else is lost there is always a Gap where you and God exist and there is a voice where purpose has a place.

Love to so many!

I SEE YOU

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It is in our hearts we truly see!

~Kerri Elizabeth~

In the heart of a man there will be honor
Loyalty
Love
Communication
Playfulness
Acceptance
Authenticity
Trust

and
Forgiveness and a genuine openness to grow WITH you
We will mess up, all of us

Life is a abstract painting of chaos swirled with order

We will come to spaces and places we meet our own self worth
Our own defaults
Our own self reflections we will face
One is not above or below the other
Behind or in front of
The walk is side by side
Gesture and posture can lift or crush a spirit
When a man honors a woman his spirit has posture that reflects his own inner love

You will know a man from his fruit

The fruit of the Spirit , love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Reflect unto such a man gratitude with the fruits of your own spirit.

Sunshine

It is always a good reminder to reach into the fruits of the spirit. We all fail this one, we react without a thought, we defend without reason, we deny another’s feeling because they don’t fit our own.

It is when we choose to grow together, when defense is not a gesture of decision but a kind response of understanding.

In all relationships, your children, friends, spouse or even a boss, it is within the fruits of the spirit we reflect love.

New View


It is because of you I had the opportunity to be broken open and made new!
~Kerri Elizabeth~


It is because of you
My cry reaches the sky
That my smile has different shapes and catches me by surprise
That I mourn at times to a depth thats secret inside
It is because of you

I see a view through a kaleidoscope that’s brand-new
It is because of you

Seeing is not limited to a visual cue
Feelings lead to breakthroughs
Experience simply informs us there’s more
It is because of you
I see the sky at such magnitude
And feel the grass blades kiss my toes
It is because of you

My heartbeats with respect to my souls truth
It is because of you
I feel the wind shift each hair on my face
It is because of you
I see fire in a candle with a reflection of truth
I smell every scent traveling through
It is because of you
The stars sing a constant melody I pursue
It is because of you
My pain is not only sadness but something I look forward to
Because of you I am new
Because of you the sunshines with rays filled with an essence I cling to

It is because of you
Beyond all clouds
I live with a deeper view
SUNSHINE




I have had to listen to the presence screaming to be heard inside of me.

Accepting the woman I am as a whole
meant I needed to embrace all of me right where I was standing and search the reflection of brokenness and shame and guilt not meant to weigh me down but an opportunity to be found.
My grief continues to give me a new view.
YES, I cry so hard I can’t breathe and THEN I let go!
So this is what is new!
Resistance is now a voice of surrender, let go to see the view, then decide if it’s a place to stand or move into.
It is waiting for you.
Our heart speaks first and your choice may hurt, but until a letting go happens your souls truth is captive.
Everything has a beginning and an end ,except GOD, so everything I do, I do, knowing GODS promise and view is to see me through.
I’m still here, aren’t you?