Aligned

 

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It is in the water where I am completely aligned, where the heavens are close and love is all I know!

~Kerri Elizabeth~

Adventures to everywhere

Seeing somewhere

Basking in a breeze

Carrying with it the pine trees

Hearing the heartbeat of the earth

Vibrations rumble at every birth

Newness enters at every moment

New to the earth

New to the heavens

Together and never separated

Every body of water joins me to you

Sunshine

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Part 3 “Changed Forever”

The Universe belongs to us all in abundance, the resource of all healing, understanding, unconditional love and freedom to explore more, when we are open to more, more opens to us!

~Kerri Elizabeth~

Down a dirt road…..

In a space where my wounds were opened and Mother Natures land held me and the skies enveloped me and Zak(my forever 24 year old son in heaven) confirmed his presence to show me the way.

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It was an early cold morning, a long night talking with Zak, trusting he had my back. Things were different inside me this morning and I felt like Zak had my hand.

I didn’t know what I was doing or what was about to happen, but I knew it was going to change me forever.

Just as Zak told me it would.

No words were said, an uncomfortable silence lead the morning. A story that would change my life that day arose. I roared from an inner flight or fight, everything inside, that had been bottled up, unshared, unheard and undone was ready to fight for me, finally.

I erupted from a silence inside, every emotion spilled out like a waterfall. It was spilling out of every cell of me, frustration and silence were completely uncapped, there was a break down that soon gave me ground for a break through and the universe said, “Lets DO this!”

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This is where it gets sticky, where someone else is involved and blame can be placed. However when you blame, you give away your power to shift your lesson into wisdom. I surrendered into it and let it eject from my core with the force it was demanding. It was time to shift and that meant inviting source energy to swirl me in gratitude for the moment presented.

It was about gratitude not blame, it was about standing in my truth and my power and allowing the universe to fill me with the natural emotions I was honored to experience and I was trusted to assimilate it all, so I could eventually share it.

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THEN…..My entire life felt as if it stopped, for a second, panic, I embraced it, for a second anger, I embraced it, for a second, blame, I embraced it, for a second I wandered too far into someone else’s story and needed to get back to mine.

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Ultimately it’s what is inside you that creates your view. What I saw next, was a new view, and I felt Zak say, “mom I got you”.

I looked around and the silence and serenity was one with me and all that nature offered was a part of me.

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I drove my car down the long bumpy dirt road, missing the potholes that were gracefully placed. One wrong turn of my steering wheel meant I could bottom out and rip the under carriage among other things in my car.

I had no phone service where I was and although that wasn’t a big deal to me, I knew I needed someone to be on the other line as I experienced the shock waves barreling though me.

I looked up and the dust of his truck disappeared, the engine I could no longer hear, I called and he answered, what was said next, shot me into a slow motion reality and then the phone was silent.

I was frozen in time, and I will tell you this part of the lesson is so

deep for me.

Telling one side and leaving the other side only in my journal has been something I have truly had to dig deep into before deciding. How do I tell just one part without the other, it all creates the total story, of love, loss and devastation, learning, living, creating and reinventing, or does it?

We all have a journey we must travel and for me, my journey is to stay present in my own healing because that is ultimately where I have freedom to be me, all of me! Thats where I am empowered and transformed, thats where change is made.

At the end of the day, did I live my truth, fully and without hesitation? 

Did I love with all of me?

At the end of the day, do I feel good about who I am?

Life is our experiences and what we learn from them is up to us.

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I live to the fullest and I love to the fullest. I also am hurt easily, super sensitive and I never want to hurt anyone. I’m an old soul empath and a Libra to the core, hurting anyone is the most painful thing to me and I use to own it in my own worth.

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NOT ANYMORE!

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This is one of my biggest challenges I have been doing the work on for years now. Not owning others pain, walking with them, not for them. It took me years to see this and I practice it daily, living in the present moment and asking myself, am I willing to feel it fully to heal it fully? Is it mine to heal or shall I return to sender?

I made it to the end of the dirt road carefully and took a left making it about 1/4 mile, I felt my body give way, I had no air to breathe, my chest caved in and panic and shock set in. I pulled over and went down another dirt road to cry and scream and to just let go.

I finally had service on my phone here. I called my mentor who is an energetic healer.

My panic said it all, I needed immediate energy help, I spilled out the finer details and then needed to get off the phone. I felt immediately sick and needed to scream to the heavens. I hung up and fell to the ground surrendering all of me.

I wept harder than ever on my hands and knees in the dirt and screamed to the heavens, I surrender, I don’t want anymore pain please, take me, make me, do whatever, just please no more, no more. Whatever I have to do, help me create a new path, a look outlook.

I called my mentor back and just set the phone down unable to talk. THENNNNNNNNNNN.…….. in the mountains in Utah in the hills, set nestled into the trees of a path less traveled a fighter jet flew so low and right above me I could see the details,( Utah trees where I was, were short) then another, the ground rocked, my car shook, my angel kitty took cover and I burst into tears. It was Zak, and not just one but 4 or 5 I’m still not totally sure the number but my friend said to me on the phone, its Zak. Thats Zak and if I wasn’t on the other line I’m not sure even I would believe what just happen.

In Zak’s honest engine voice, he said, ” mom what I couldn’t change on earth I can intercept from heaven, because your my mom.” I chose you to be my mom and my place as your son is never done. He continued to share with me so much more. I pulled up my boot straps and explored and wrote. This journey had just begun for me, it wasn’t just a Zak healing anymore, Zak was with me, he laid out a plan and it just kept rolling. I followed and along the way a fighter jet would confirm to me I was going the right way.

You see when Zak took his last breathe, a fight jet rocked my world as I crawled outside and laid lifeless and frozen for hours before I could move again. After he crossed over I took a long drive to my favorite place on earth. He continued to show up in fighter jets among other signs that came left and right. This one has shown up at the oddest times and places but the perfect times and places for me.

I can go on and on about Zak’s presence with me, my journey and all the signs he was so close, but this moment in perfect timing, in a fully traumatized state on my knees in the mountains of Utah in the exact second I surrendered fully, right above me, close enough to see details, he showed up to confirm to me, he intercepted my path and changed my view, exactly what I asked for at exactly the same timing.

Confirmation, we have only the power we allow!

Zak lives on and there is never a day he does not show up…………………..

Zak took me back to every space on that 40 day journey that needed restoration and a new view and we healed it all.

I am free to be ME!

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Change or Grow…. part 2

In every space the purpose is the present, be fully in it!

~Kerri Elizabeth~

Hello to you all and thank you ahead of time for reading my soul writing and I hope in someway it will inspire you.

If you are struggling with something from the present or past, a relationship, work, family, finances, loss or loneliness, anger or frustration among other emotions that fester before healed, may this shine light on at least one of these and it be healed and forgiven because it can.

Part 2 of a long journey……………

Deep in the woods of Utah, above the hot sun line where snow still laid on the ground and ice blanketed the windows in my car at night. It was early Feb. toward the end of a 40 day journey on the road through 5 states, that shifted me in ways I wasn’t prepared for but completely open for.

I knew my life was going to change the minute I decided to hit the road and leave all I knew to Mother nature’s grand healing, hugs and invitation to be open to the elements of surprise.

Zak (my son)told me to leave two months before and I resisted for reasons that were less important than healing the loss of my child. The grief was setting in deep, loss, loneliness and a depression I have never experienced (I had zero tendencies to depression and always had a smile, UNTIL….my child died).

This was an eye opener as to what a trauma of 5 constant years of watching your child suffer and not being able to find an answer and then watching him pass while holding one hand, his wife another and my youngest daughter holding his head as comfortable as she could. He literally was suffocating and struggling to breathe on his way out. Horrifying to experience.

He didn’t want to miss a moment and be so medicated and on hospice he didn’t feel life.

He felt life to the last breathe in the most painful ways, but he felt it, he didn’t resist it, he wanted life more than death and used all he was given.

This isn’t going to sound like SUNSHINE right off the bat, but please stick with me, it’s all an adventure through darkness with a light that never dies.

This is the partial story that sent me packing. Move, do something big, drastic and different or stay in the story of trauma and agony. I chose MORE! Zak was not my only struggle to get through. I was also years into a relationship that offered more lessons to me than any relationship has ever gifted me in my entire life. I won’t talk about this part for now and never in depth because it’s one side and I know, I truly and fully loved, thats all that matters here.

I can tell you this, it was one of those relationships that challenge who you are to your very core, that hold your highest highs and deepest lows.

I chose my life and who I spent it with, we don’t get to choose our consequences most often though, but we do have the opportunity to choose our actions and how we show up for our consequences.

Consequences usually include an action that is tied to or involves others lives and ideas, hence not having control over the entire picture.

We can’t change others, only ourselves, however, so often we enable others by trying to heal wounds that aren’t ours, or compare and demand fairness, whatever that is for you, and we end up enabling ourselves and missing our own lessons completely.

This part of the journey is about my own lessons and what I have been so fortunate to learn, I have no control over anything else.

I woke this particular morning knowing this day would be a different day, I had spent the entire trip writing about what I wanted in my life, how I wanted to show up for myself and what that would take for me. I honestly couldn’t make sense of much else, other than making sure I ate right and monitored my well being on the day I left, Dec. 30th.

I just knew my life was different and was about to change even more.

It had to be different and putting it into words as I write even still is difficult. I feel it all so deep, no words seem to explain it at the depth I feel it.

It was a freezing cold morning in my Buick Encore, a thought out organized cozy space inside with all I needed to travel, sleep and be comfortable wherever I was and feel safe and secure inside when I chose any off the beaten path areas. This particular space was definitely off the beaten path, in a secret off the grid magical space filled with wonder, like a fairytale. It felt surreal to me, and honestly at this point everything was surreal and not just in beautiful ways.

My kitten Angel was always with me, she went everywhere with me since she was 6 weeks old, so she loved traveling and exploring anywhere and everywhere.

The night before, Zak clearly told me as I was locked in my car, to just be calm and get my computer out. Mind you I had been off the grid and off electricity for some time now and the chances of my computer working was zero, it was cold, draining every battery I had and I hadn’t charged it in weeks. I didn’t even have a charged phone or service where I was. Zak persisted with me to open it, so I did. Sure enough when I opened it, music started playing, music I didn’t even know was on my computer and it was music I wasn’t familiar with, but it all had a purpose and a reason for me at that moment.

I listened for two solid hours and Zak told me to start writing what I was feeling.

I couldn’t write fast enough, it was flowing like lava through my fingers onto the keyboard. It was dark outside and it was cold and I was snuggled in tight with Angel in gratitude for the anxious knowing my life was about to change drastically.

I fell asleep finally, hours after the music and the writing and the constant appreciation that was pouring out of me for whatever was next.

I hit my wall of tolerance to stand in darkness any longer, I wasn’t going down depressed and I wasn’t going down as a victim to anyone, including myself.

I had control of what I wanted in my life going forward and the lighthouse was beaming non stop with light beams that ONLY pointed in the direction I was to trust without question. That included using my voice again with power and strength and trust whatever came out was exactly what was meant to.

I woke up with a new outlook, Zak had my back, he played music for 2 hours teaching me, empowering me, filling me with zest for life again, telling me it was all going to be ok, he had my back.

No matter what happened at this point I had a powerful extension of me working from another dimension. I trusted 100% Zak had it all planned and the consequences were going to be rough but they were going to be worth every second of the pain, agony, defeat, darkness, crawling and shattered torn feeling I was about to experience.

I had no idea that the consequences to my voice would be to experience the rest of the adventure alone in the mountains of Utah off the grid with no phone service suddenly, and that I would literally be in the hands of Mother Nature and God and trusting all I had manifested and opened my heart to was going to tear every wound I ever had wide open.

ZAK APPEARS IN A PHYSICAL FORM …. NEXT…. stay tuned….. this has been hard to put in writing, I originally wanted to have it to you every week, but more patience is required of myself and I am honoring it. I have to write it in parts and make sure I am grounded, in my healing, meditating and being diligent with my life going forward…..

I can tell you this much more before the next part… I am divinely placed to radically share my light to the world and I will NEVER STOP!

SUNSHINE

Bridge the gap

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Across every bridge was once an idea put into place!

~Kerri Elizabeth~

 

Will this bridge lead you there

Where

Inspired realization of the beauty so bold

How long will each bolt hold

When you cross, will you know

Not just a bridge

An experience told

Tantalize your thoughts

Toss tenacity on top

Inspiration seeps into inquisitive natures

Once held in the thoughts and dreams of a mind

Who

Imagined it

Put it into place

So you and I could cross this space

Sunshine

 

Put your ideas into place, it may change someone’s view of how their day is embraced.

 

 

 

Limb by Limb

0104-2018-0754527885873994497001716398757.jpegReflection is in the eye of every beholder, linked perfectly to expression and emotion, where the heart goes is where your truth shows.

~Kerri Elizabeth~

 

Embrace the reflection
Limb by limb again
Rightside up
Upside down
Significant details are profound
Imagine that was you
In the reflection and truth
What would you see
With no mistaking
Limb by limb
Wrinkle by wrinkle
Do you love what you see
Like the reflection of this tree

Sunshine

SUNSHINE

sunshine blogger award

This is a beautiful surprise and a wonderful award of Sunshine to my Sunshine. Thank you to my blogging friends https://awakeningwildflower.com/, I am always inspired by your stories and your journey to healing is amazing, your an angel yourself.

Thank you Sally also for nominating me and giving me the opportunity to share with your followers as well , I love the smorgasbord you have and resonate with your passions for so many things https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/:

The Sunshine Blogger award is given by bloggers to bloggers who inspire positivity and creativity in the blogging community. I am very honored to have been nominated.

The rules for accepting the award are as follows:
Thank the Blogger who nominated you.
Nominate 11 new blogs to receive the award and write them 11 new questions.
Display the rules and the Sunshine Blogger Award logo in your post.
Here are the questions given to me to answer from Sally G. Cronin’s, https://awakeningwildflower.com/, https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/:

1.Can you tell us about yourself in 100 words or less?

I am a nature wanderer and lover of life, a waterfall luster that includes swimming for miles(literally) feeling my most freedom and peace there, this qualifies me as a lake lusting mermaid as well, I thought I was a mom first but they all grew up and left home and my son recently grew his wings way faster than I can process and flying the heavens in fighter jets. What I found out recently is that in all my studies and all the wonderful knowledge I have built over these years, it really comes down to I’m me and that envelopes a ton of passions that all lead to nature.

My blog was created to be all about encouragement and a creative invitation to allow your own thought provoking inspiration to bubble up, in all kinds of ways and perspectives. .

3.What is the strongest memory from your childhood?

Living in the mountains, precisely why I am so drawn to it now, it was my refuge and still is.

4.Can you tell us more about where you live and why you call it home?

I left my home, my personal training gym and spa when my son got cancer almost 5 years ago. I never looked back, it was a new journey to invest all I am and have into my child.

( A lot here in the middle)

I live in the sunshine right now and am blessed to have more than what I need and a support system around me that is rock solid unconditional love to go through the exploration of a new self after the loss of my child.

6.Is there a country that you have not visited but is on your wish list?

I would love to go to Indonesia, really, I would love to experience as many as I can in my life.

7.Who is your favorite author and why?

I love reading and have so many and my favorite changes, its completely in the moment for me. I’m usually reading new things I can grow from.

8.What is your favorite meal?

I love raw foods and am super creative with food so this one too is dependent on the moment. Id say probably fresh juice in my juicer tops it all for me.

9.What is your favorite musician and can you let us have a YouTube link so that we can listen to them? I would say anything Tim McGraw and Faith Hill …………….

10.What is your favorite film and why?

Lion King, it was always a movie my son and I watched and had mom and son dinner dates together up until his last days and then he wanted to watch Tarzan with his entire family around. I’d say those two because they remind me of him and our time. I don’t own a TV and never have so I’m not a TV or movie buff.
11.If you could live in another time.. decade or century.. what would that be?

In the 50s and 60s for sure when you could dance in the streets and there was no traffic or social media and nature was everywhere, you didn’t have to drive miles to it, and you spoke to people on the phone and not computers.

Thank you also to my beautiful friend and blogger for you questions. I loved your questions and answered them all to myself out of curiosity. https://awakeningwildflower.com/

My 11 nominees are:

https://southernactsenterprises.wordpress.com/
http://writingtofreedom.com
https://gcdiaries.wordpress.com/
https://cindyknoke.com/
https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/47208236/posts/2129
https://drandreadinardo.com/
https://rayoflight144.wordpress.com
https://sonofabeach96.com/
https://beautybeyondbones.com/
https://thetovaryshconnection.wordpress.com/
https://patticlark.org/

My 11 questions for my nominees:
1.What is your favorite food or recipe and will you please share it?
2. Do you have a pet and or more and what are their names?
3. What are 10 words that best describe you?
4.What is your favorite activity?
5.Where would you live if its not where you are now, if you could live anywhere in the world? and where is now if that is exactly where you always dreamed to live?
6. What was the inspiration to start a blog?
7. Where are you drawn more to, water or earth or sky?
8. What is your favorite color and why?
9. To get away , where do you go most?
11. What would you like most for people to receive from your blog?

Have fun and I look forward to getting to know you more and sharing!

Shift

#sunshine #KerrielizabethLake tahoe

Touch your heart with your hand and feel the shift from overthinking in the mind to heart-centered gratitude and the harmony between the two will dance again!

~Kerri Elizabeth~

 

Beyond amazing how nature can offer such light without asking
How creation exists without wanting
Just perfectly accepting the flow
It’s amazing to me how free you can be
Freedom is how you see
Freedom is what you allow inside
Trusting in your own way
The heart will hear and will steer
Will you follow the voice that’s clear
Soul dancing requires courage to know when to let go
When to go slow
What pace you’re in the flow

Sunshine

 

There is where you’ll be

#sunhine #KerrielizabethLake Tahoe sunset

Start first with the universe, there is where you’ll be!

~Kerri Elizabeth~

 

There is a story here, one of glory, one of fear, one of love, and one filled with tears

Heartache touched with a ray of light

Adventures with diamonds glistening from the last of the sunlight

The sunsets with a chapter or more to close

Internal love is rearranged

Strength magnified and gifted from the sky

No blame or shame in life changes made

There is no regret and credit is open for anyone to own

It’s like stolen candy revealed

Proving to be love

Is not love at all

Lack and cracks of self-love have been emptied out

Unconsciously we steal to feel

With what we can’t control

Opening and emptying until we allow ourselves to be authentically filled

Forgive the wandering thief of blame

Remove the lie in shame

Do not steal but reveal to the heavens

The places to be authentically healed

SUNSHINE

 

Angel in the Wind

#sunshine #kerrissunshine20180203_123248

 Releasing “when”, “how”, “then”, “should of”, “would of”, into “flow with ease”, then there is room to experience “NOW”.

~Kerri Elizabeth~

Anchored by cloth from limb to limb

Angel settled before me in the wind

Instrumentals playing and branches crackling

Snuggled in, sunshine surrounding and warming me within

Birds soaring and diving without worry catching the drafts of the breeze

Seeking their meals and gliding in on a whim

Capturing nature’s freshness

Rest is on the shore

Wings spread open with appreciation for the warmth of the sun

Resting with trust and ease

A blue heron sits by my side listening intently to the music I provide

A magical moment with a kitten in the tree above me, a heron beside me, instrumentals opening the skies and always giving me the love of (my son) Zaks’ eyes!

SUNSHINE

Always with me, the beauty of my son’s soul, energetically connected, soul loved, heartfelt and mind remembering every laugh, smile, giggle and moment here on earth.

Thank you for your birth, for the love you continue to give and the direction you give and the light you send. Forever my heart and soul laughing and playing in the wonders of all you show me.

I love you and miss your physical presence so much, but I’m learning as I let go of the missing, you have more room to be present. Thank you for teaching me how to meet you where you are.

LOVE YOUR MOMMA

Abundant Sky

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Peace is what you are capable of being.

~Wayne Dyer~

Brilliance in the sky

Passion exuding, exempt to reasons why

Abundance in the universal veins flow

Vibrance knows ease

Awareness breathes

Calmness eloquently elevates out of need

Entrance into brilliance

Never bashful and always bold

It’s all for you to hold

I have no end and no beginning

I am

There is no separation designed in the past, present, and future of now

It has simply been now all along

 

SUNSHINE