YOU ARE MORE

You are more than what you thought defined you!

~Kerri-Elizabeth~

I am more than the child that grew up with fight or flight emotions and feelings

An imposter lived here, a fearful, unready and unwilling part of me

In control of nothing but wanting to control everything

Living in a darkness of the world

Running into it at the same time I was running away from it

Religion captured me and gave me a safe box to live in for years

“Oh,” God is very real to me, but religion is no longer a vice 

That box got smaller as experiences got bigger and it didn’t make sense to live there anymore

I couldn’t breathe

I couldn’t talk

I couldn’t move

I couldn’t escape the judgment of what I was told I needed to do and not what my deeper self was calling me to do

I was screaming inside for years

As if I was watching myself from a distance, I observed so much confusion and pain

Filled with insecurities grounded in shame and blame that I could never do enough to erase

What I faced was the habit energy

The energy that was continually lived in fight or flight , over compensations, under compensations and so much more

While smiling and living I was also dyeing

I was raising kids while raising myself

I was married while not even understanding what that required

I lived small because small seemed bigger than what I felt capable of handling at times

I lived on others terms because I had no idea life had terms I had the power to make

I knew deep within there was more

I knew deep within I had more

I chose more of myself many times, to then allow doubt to loosen my grip

I had no idea how to break through to that next place

Disapointing others while listening to my own calling was like climbing Mt. Everest with no training

That’s when I realized it was going to mean I had to disappoint myself

It all required me to re-train myself

I had to change my story and I was going to have to reject the current narrative and disapoint myself by announcing I was more than the skin I had lived in all these years

That would seem like a milestone in gratitude to many, however it meant to me, I had to invite part of myself to move out

I had to leave behind the blame, the shame and the rejections not just of my own but from others

I now could give myself safety

I now could stand strong for me

I could say I mattered

I could say NO

I now could disapoint another to show up for myself, knowing that the disappointment was their journey and I had no business fixing it

I had to thank the space and move away, bless it for the experiences and lessons and leave it behind

It wasn’t supposed to become me, it was suppose to teach me

It did

At the exact time it was suppose to

It happened in loss

It happend in change

It happened in pain

It happened in tears

It didn’t happen with joy or laughter

It happend when I felt no hope

It happend when I was empty

When I was my most challenged

It happened in anger

In rejections

It happened in misunderstandings I had to let go of and allow the teaching of it

It happened in letting go of people I thought would never leave

It happend in the learning of how to have a relationship with my son from the heavens, instead of in the physical presence

It happened in sickness

It happened in the lowest times, the hardest times, the most doubtful times

It is still happening and I understand that these times are never to be wished away , but to be observed with new insight

To look into pain and to ache while you smile is part of life’s best and most insightful journeys to success

Happiness is a foundation that requires remodeling continually

 

Sunshine

Intention Meets Wonder

May you adventure with an open heart and wonder with intension.

~Kerri-Elizabeth~

Wondering down hidden paths
Where surprise and adventure seek to heal
Sorrow and pain often revealed
Dancing with emotions under the blue sky
Taking courage by the hand , not asking why
Allowing grace to fill the space
Where words have become chatter
Quiet intension always awaits with patience

Sunshine

New beginnings are daily

It will be up to you to adventure the gaps in time where change is waiting.

~Kerri-Elizabeth~

A new beginning … the choice is available daily

However ,often it is saved for the beginning of a new year

The past has fallen away as you have slept and dreamed yourself into the present

May your dreams waiting to be fulfilled have a clear path to so many grand tomorrows

Allow forgiveness to thrive within your heart with valuable insights

An invitation from the core of a happy peaceful existence meets you face to face

Honor your deepest growth and spend moments under the stars and chasing waterfalls

Let go of the “what and who was “ to see your brightest days

Often the pain of letting go comes with what we think others will feel by our changes

Growth is a choice for all and you will never please everyone and often not even the ones you intent to please most

Keep growing anyways… that’s where your strongest self is

Sunshine

Separately Found While Always Connected

Whether separate or connected both become defined purely by experience
and emotion.

~Kerri-Elizabeth~

Present in the connection

River roaring to its chosen audience

Birds performing a soul moving orchestra

Trees adding their own rhythm practiced daily with precision 

While the breeze so eloquently smooths every tune into an inner song

All echoing from the majestic mountains offering a priceless concert

An invitation is not needed

A willingness to enter  is

Intense scents of pine inspire your deepest senses

Sweetly journeying through every fiber of pain transforming it into gratitude

Resting freely a top one of nature’s boulder strengths

Love and connection are found

Separate and clearly joined

Birds sing to one another as if love is all that really exists

Is it…..

The sound of the river takes no space, instead joyfully takes ownership of its existence to nurture presence

It carries wounds down that never return

It erases hardship without asking

The aroma of the river and pine create a tea for you and nature to thrive upon

Each needle left upon the ground leaving a legacy of its time here

Burn marks upon the trees carry a wisdom into healing and regeneration

Sunshine

Shine

Nature will show you all the solutions when your heart is open to receive.
~Kerri-Elizabeth~

In the heat of the day

The sun pours out its radiance

Reminding me we don’t need anything to shine

Sun rays carry the breeze effortlessly

Filling my lungs to capacity

Healing me from the inside out

Creating space to shine

Nature is where harmony lives

Peace is what nature gives

Sunshine

Quiet Reminiscence

Within calmness is an untouched space waiting to be entered.

~Kerri-Elizabeth~

Selected random thoughts swirl within the chaos of your mind
The rest waits, often Untouched and Un phased
Others Return from a sprint of perseverance
Challenge is always within
Quiet reminiscent wonder rises above the fog
Splendor will be released after the resistance we experience through change
Joy will enter when the doors to sorrow have been opened completely
It won’t be the sorrow that held you back
It will be the unwillingness to open the door and walk through

Sunshine