I searched for you and me

She dared herself to live with courage and found courage in living!
~Kerri-Elizabeth~

I searched for you and me

I looked high and low, in front and behind every tree

I glanced off the cliffs below

I searched long and hard, did you know

In the clouds and in the lakes

I searched rivers and mountains with no breaks

I called for you and no one replied

I cried for you inside

I drove miles and miles looking for a glimpse to pull aside

I longed for you and knew you longed for me

To find you was beyond my reach

I was looking for you 

Missing every queue

I looked for the depth of what I should be

Who someone else wanted to see

I lost sight of my own dreams

I thought I was lost where I once was found

Then one day courage stood its ground

Vulnerability spoke with a fierce sound

Wherever you go, there you will be

I’m you and me

~Kerri Elizabeth

When we experience life, life is also experiencing us, I believe. When we go farther and faster and search for ourselves instead of the experiences that creates our selves ,we miss the queues that it is ourselves we are escaping.

When we run from ourselves, we run from our faith, our beliefs, our dreams and our core foundation. When we deny our own existence is not enough because of someone else’s opinion or judgement, then we deny our ability to grow, to serve, to lead, to inspire, to be driven, to reach, to grasp courage with all your might and LIVE beyond limitations set by ourselves or others.

We become stuck within another or others lives and deny our own growth waiting for another growth. The best gift you can give yourself and another is the freedom to be loved at the exact place you are so they have room to move forward. This is courageous!

LIVE WITH COURAGE!

SUNSHINE PROJECT

His wings fly safely in the heavens and my heart flies with him!
~Kerri-Elizabeth~


Forever my son
Forever my heart
Forever remembered
Never apart
MOM AND SON
Zakary Ryan
10-13-1992/7-30-2017


Healing requires movement
It requires strength beyond what we currently understand
Healing is an action
It is an energy
It requires flow
Surrender
Tenderness
Acceptance
Solitude
It requires re-creation of self
It needs faith
Foundation
Belief
Healing requires understanding
space
forgiveness
understanding
allowance
Healing is individual
It is a force
An unknowing
Randomness
Change
Chaos
Healing requires you to BE YOU at all times
To authentically stand as you are
To gracefully arrive where you want to be
ONE moment at a time
Healing requires you to live COURAGEOUSLY
~Kerri Elizabeth~

I am ready to take this project to the next level, to make my poetry a Journal book. This has been a dream that has evolved with the experiences and loss of my son Zak.

Please watch this video and subscribe to see its evolution.
SUNSHINE Project is hiring hearts to share along the way as you wish.


SUNSHINE PROJECT

https://www.moonlighting.com/story?i=90 Also here is my link to raise enough money to create my writings into a journal. Thank you for your support in any way possible. Please subscribe to the YOUTUBE station, I know nothing about it all yet as far as getting this all out, I am following my heart and I know when we all help one another thats where change and healing occurs.

I would love to add a page of everyones blogs that I have been connecting with that would also refer others to a place of healing and creative thinking and others that understand. Zak always said, “Its time to start a movement”. He sang and wrote songs about it too.

Arrive Within Your SHADOW

It is within our deepest prayers we arrive within our own shadow!
~Kerri-Elizabeth~

Dear ones, are you aware of the shadow that follows you

Are you prepared for life to crack you open

And shine the brightest light beams past the surface

In our deepest prayers we ask for strength

We ask for connection

Infinite love

We ask for healing

For our dreams to land into the shape of our imaginations

We believe mountains can be moved

That thunder rumbles from the heavens

That love is everlasting and passion pulses within us

Are you prepared to be broken open

To be molded and mended a new

To be aware of the shadow that follows you

You must experience your presence within it

SUNSHINE

When I was in my early 20s I remember praying for God to have me experience whatever I needed to , in order to be helpful to others. I always wanted to be a good listener, that took me years to realize I wasn’t as good as I thought I was. My kids told me that. I listened for countless hours to their stories and moments and spent late nights up with them listening to their days.

Then one day I asked my son what he would change about me, something I had the power to change, not something I already did I couldn’t go back and fix. He answered this,” I wish you would listen first without a response and without a reaction and make me wait to come back and debate the point after you processed it.” He wanted to be able to debate NOW, not later, to be heard fully without my own processing, because to him that meant he wasn’t heard and I was gearing up for a reaction.

That wasn’t my take on it, however I changed that as fast as I could and learned a response or reaction wasn’t even necessary. He just wanted to be heard fully and completely and acknowledged for it without any response from his mom.

Later I learned my daughters felt the same. This left me feeling as if I was never to be heard and I had no say in any matter at all without them feeling as if I was one over them.

Frustration for years surfaced and often still I am reminded, we all want to be heard, a response is not always necessary or needed and a reaction is always best left beyond the shadows.

In the Details

Its in the details we experience wonder!
~Kerri Elizabeth~

In the details an image is created
Reflection is stated
In wonder we are inspired
Listen to the vibration

The living breath of creation

Stay and pray
Answers will wake you
They may shake you
They may disappoint you
They may leave out details
Persevere

Answers are in the details of creations reflection

SUNSHINE

Heart Lens

Behind the lens of our heart we will see beauty and we will see pain, both intertwined to express our deepest love.

~ Kerri -Elizabeth~

Presence preserves our light

Focus on the glory it provides

Mastery belongs to the universe

The earths pulse says, “walk with me”

Rain drops dance on every tree

Stars unravel wisdom

Love is where you’ll find me

Sunshine

Creation of Reflection

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In the creation of reflection is where the deepest love exhists!
~Kerri Elizabeth~

 

Photography of the heart prompts reaction

Moments can change the vision of your natural inner lens

Lines are blurred and details create unfamiliar shadows

Simplicity becomes a necessary partner

Priority naturally carries even weight without attached motive

It is the motive we assign that becomes our priority design

Motive to remain is an insanity game

Motive to change builds strength in our frame

Motive to love is where priority leans into the creation of reflection

~Sunshine~

 

I have been in constant change for most of my life, some of it my choice, some of it creations prompt for me to make choice.

Learning what priority means and that it can carry weight without motive and take you up or down depending on what you attach as motive has been nothing less than enlightening.

There are times it can feel like the easiest things to reach to are the hardest things that have created the most insanity. Growth is attached to the motive we put on priority. Priority has no rules without our input, it weighs which ever direction we step and leans in to create a design.

When love is the motive, it is attached to priority and creation of reflection is where our strength is refined.

The Pace Inside

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The pace inside is based on our own courage to surrender the entangled knots inside to the stillness that knows no time or restraints!

~Kerri Elizabeth~

Perpetual perseverance
Demands its authority
Appearing through emotions
Tears overflow integrated and entangled
Happiness, sadness and surrender have no separation
Inevitable movement continues
“Stop please”, I ask, “just for a moment”
“Slow down, I dont want to miss a second”
The ocean responds, ” I am ”
SUNSHINE

There are times inside the chaos and the history of trauma and our pasts get so knotted up inside we can not feel the stillness, there is a lack of movement and oxygen.

When I get to this place I always realize I am holding my breathe, not trusting and worrying about things I can not control. Then a dilemma, when I decide and realize what I can change, often it’s not what I want to change.

This brings anxiety and it all starts to overflow and tears come like a dam that just broke. It is inevitable, emotions will move, our lives move, our bodies move, our lungs take in and let out air, movement. Our hearts beat, our blood moves, our world continues and the pace inside must find a way to courageously let go and flow with peace and stillness.

Stillness is not without movement. This is a term set out to teach one to stop and feel what is moving without additional purposeful movement, such as the heart and lungs, and our blood flowing.

Meditation and body position invite courage to surrender giving room for oxygen to change the chemistry of the emotion and anxiety to freedom.

This is a lifestyle not a quick fix…

Pillar of Strength

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Where pillars of strength are grounded the framework will last!

~Kerri Elizabeth~

The construction of our lives is altered by experience
Experience is altered by fear
Fear is altered by courage
Courage is altered by belief
Belief is altered by choice
Choice is altered by change
Change is constant
Bridges are built and torn down
New ones are reconstructed by the history found

SUNSHINE

Behind the Door

It is behind the closed door we hold more, where you must go to grow!

~Kerri Elizabeth~

Behind every door
Infused within a universe
Daring to overcome
Darkness and light sword fight
Equilibrium emerges,” I exist ”
Whispering quietly , “persevere”
Shed every tear, happiness and fear
Untangle the emotional trance
Dance
Perhaps destiny is in your hands
Possibility says
Its perfectly planned

Sunshine
Feel it to heal it!

 

It is behind our closed doors we must go to grow. In order to heal you must open the doors to the pain and rearrange the perception to change. Letting go and allowing awareness in, behind the closed doors is where healing begins.

It is the masks worn to cover our authentic selves that we must rip off, the doors unhinged and flown off, the core must be strengthened, held up, encouraged, unashamed and untamed , risk must enter in growth.

Some will approve, some will judge, some will leave you , some will love you, some will share and some will dare you, challenge you and arrive for you, and you will do the same to and for them.

Ultimately it is in the courage to reveal and unmask and be YOU that reveals  each other…

When you are in the space of an others growth cycle, you will grow too or you will stay behind the closed doors waiting, instead of arriving together.

Where there is more than one, as training in any sport, you encourage one another to arrive at the finish line even when its at different points. As long as your all training, you all will arrive.

When you close your inner doors, when your stubborn and proud of that trait you will not arrive at the same finish line or gate. It is up to the team you choose to enter into the starting gate, to train and get to the finish line together, to encourage, to share, the enlighten to be aware, to connect, to reflect, to agree, to disagree, to hurt, to laugh, to cry to deny, to learn, to grow, to continue to move and not let go of the reasons why you want your team to win.

Thank you to my Oldest daughter Brandee today for her love and sharing her own lessons in life and for inspiring  the continuation of this lesson inside of me.

SUNSHINE