Present in the connection
River roaring to its chosen audience
Birds performing a soul moving orchestra
Trees adding their own rhythm practiced daily with precision
While the breeze so eloquently smooths every tune into an inner song
All echoing from the majestic mountains offering a priceless concert
An invitation is not needed
A willingness to enter is
Intense scents of pine inspire your deepest senses
Sweetly journeying through every fiber of pain transforming it into gratitude
Resting freely a top one of nature’s boulder strengths
Love and connection are found
Separate and clearly joined
Birds sing to one another as if love is all that really exists
The sound of the river takes no space, instead joyfully takes ownership of its existence to nurture presence
It carries wounds down that never return
It erases hardship without asking
The aroma of the river and pine create a tea for you and nature to thrive upon
Each needle left upon the ground leaving a legacy of its time here
Burn marks upon the trees carry a wisdom into healing and regeneration
It is within the layers all things exist and it is within the layers we learn to live among the experiences that created the strength to grow.
Under a shade tree where leaves are dancing with the peaceful melody of nature
Crackling through the small breeze I can hear them wrestling with one another in harmony
Madrone tree, you have won my heart in this moment
Feeling your presence offers protection
Standing with all that surrounds you in such beauty
Breathing life with your unaltered energy
Free to believe, to stand, to bend, to flow, to grow
Gratitude is running deep for the confidence you radiate so freely
Thank you for sharing
Thank you for the cracks you so proudly show as warrior wounds of your life
Thank you for sharing space with the earth’s delicate growth around you
Thank you for the soul food
Thank you for speaking such volume
Thank you for the confidence to stand beyond any doubts
Thank you for the invitation into this sacred space, to be loved, to sit with the uncomfortable and linger in your zesty energy
When I lost my son 3 years ago , I had no idea the roller coaster of emotions that would take over my body, mind and soul. I had no idea that even with so much love imbedded inside me that grief has its own path and respecting it, is vital. Healing occurs daily, but what I found out most in this 3rd year , that isn’t different than the prior years, I just didn’t figure it out until this year. That all pain lingers within grief, so when anything else hurts it opens the loss of my son again and again.
Maybe next year it’ll be different now that I figured that part out, but mostly what I want to share is that pain needs a place to feel freedom to fly, to soar and change and to grow and heal. All love remains even when pain shows up, however for someone looking in without the experience, it often is uncomfortable to see, to watch, to be patient in the process.
It is not something that is meant to be hurried or told to let go of or change. It is a personal process and every person is so different. Let it be, so it can see, so it can feel, let it be, so it move and not get stuck.
Pain is also a protector, something we hang on to in fear of letting go and being undone, or without, fear and pain dance a beautiful dance, awareness is a beautiful addition. You can dance with it or you can hold it so tight along with fear that you become unaware you’re not moving.
Move, create or find a space you feel free to feel, to think, to be all of who you are with all your emotions and feelings and then a new way will begin.
When we are able to sit in the pain and in the muck of life, there is where we see what were made of!
To give honor and respect to another
Honor and respect must first flow through you
To build a secure foundation for oneself inside
Requires tenacity and determination
To love oneself through the highest and lowest of times
Requires oneself to experience love
Love is continually gained and lost before we understand its significance
Even then there is an unknowing
An unknowing opens up vulnerability
To stand in the muck of life and be vulnerable
Is where we gain our best self
It is where we find what we’re made of
Where we get to see where we paid attention
Where we have gone and what we took with us
I realized after I lost my 24 year old son two years ago now, that pain really is inevitable, it happens to everyone and can happen without warning. We can be in our most vulnerable place inside and something happens and splits you wide open. You weren’t ready, you weren’t prepared and the honest truth is NOTHING could prepare you.
So then what? It is there where everything in our lives that we either let go of or held on to, shows up. Every lesson and every heartache is remembered and the wounds are fresh again. However in that moment where the heart remembers the pain it also remembers the healing and how you gave that attention or not.
If you didn’t put the work in and ignored it and allowed it to heal shut without acknowledging and entering into it, it will continue to walk you through it until you do, and then it will challenge you to make sure you learned. Its inevitable!
The lesson from something profound and often something so small can trigger all the same emotions. It is simply when you can feel the chaos of the moment and stand in it with freedom you are not in the chaos of this experience anymore. Reflect on the familiarity of being here before and what was learned and how honor and love are applied
See the Butterfly in the light?
It is in the transformation we find our design.
A butterfly will make many changes before it flies
Struggles will be part of their life
A necessary morphoses designed for each
The delicate awaiting of transformation will teach
The struggle is not always clear
A need to know is often driven by fear
Transformation comes within the struggles of time
A willingness to arrive in your own design
There will be pain and blessings, smiles and tears, both will be ok, both are needed to be who we are meant to be. Without struggle we would never know freedom. Without transformation, we would never see growth. Without love there would never be pain but with no pain we would never know the depth our love can reach.
To arrive in our own design, to me, means that we arrive with all our emotions, our lessons, our grief, our sorrows. To bring our joys , our trials and triumph and that we arrive in our fullest capacity to delicately transform with clarity that some things are never clear just a necessary part of our design.
Love and Hugs, Sunshine
Trust is developed from how you inquire from within!
Dare to live with a curious inquiring from within
Believe in something you’ve never known
Trust in your heart with out questioning the mind
How many petals do you need to land on “love me” to believe it
Renew your spirit and polish your curves
Surround yourself in natures lights
And rest into the darkness of the glowing night
Trust is not broken from another action, unless we define it that way. Once someone wrongs us, we stay within that action and own it and live it, losing trust and limiting our love for life and our ability to connect with others.
If we hold that wrong, we then continue to give power to the wrong and the person we feel that did it. In the process of healing I found there also has to be a letting go of distrust and caution to a point you are limiting your own life.
Live with freedom and send back any bad energy to the person dealing it. The minute you decide to give yourself permission to interact within a negative space you take that energy on as your own.
Sender wins and the loss of trust is now building from within.
If it’s being delivered negatively it’s not yours, breathe and physically move your arms in a way that you can mentally, emotionally and physically remove and send it back to sender.
DONE, move out of their energy space, build trust within yourself, this is where defense is dropped. When we respond in defense we have already lost, defense is guilt, a place within we lost trust.
Believe in something you never have……..an example might be believing that 10 deep breathes before you respond will save you a rollercoaster of reactions.
Brokenness tears down walls
Freed in the midst of unjust ways
Through struggle and through doubt
Chained to pain
Drugged by societies vanity
Judgement is owned by questioned sanity
Strained by grief
Searching the halls for secret walls
Where is the escape route
Then brokenness lead the way
The walls perceived, were only a belief
Brokenness rumbled through every crack
The inner echoes shattered like glass
The kingdom has no walls
No halls that echo our calls
It is the freedom of creation
The divine wireless call above it all
Get back up and stand tall
The kingdom has no doors
No ceiling, no floors
It’s infinite and more
It’s every sunrise and every storm
It has no chains
Other than the ones we create in discouragement and shame
Courage and Joy
It has been in my deepest pains I became chained.
I found that within the walls of my own doubt, I denied myself, I built a Kingdom within that was not what Gods plan was when Grace spoke, the kingdom of God is within.
I visualized a palace, a castle per se, with brick walls and long halls, darkness at times, emptiness and isolation closed in .
I had no escape route it seemed, I didn’t even realize I had done that until one day on my morning walk with God and my dogs, I was stopped in my tracks.
With the sun shining in the morning glare everywhere, where the mist laid on my skin and the clouds remained on the horizon again.
I GOT IT!!!!!
I felt God…………. WITHIN is NOT with walls and halls, there are no bricks and mortar and bridges to cross.
Within is open like nature, full of views and the freedom to move, it is not entrapment my child with doors and corridors, it is not the perception you created to protect your fears.
It is in the wilderness of pain your joy is found, release the chains, brokenness is simply an openness to recieve.
The chains fell off and the walls fell down and the castle I built that held my grief, my anger and my doubt had no where to be stored and I ran out of rent to pay the bill for the storage unit I built.
Phillipians 1:12-26 ,Thank you Paul for your words today confirming COURAGE is without SHAME and with God I will remain!
The view of clarity has been divinely given with infinite light, it is entering the tunnel of perception we leave the light behind.
Let the winds clear debris
Let go of disappointment, rejection and expectation as part of your home
Vulnerability brings us to our knees
Joy is not when our hopes and dreams happen
It is in joy our hopes and dreams are recieved
A serene presence no longer escapes you
Traveling is always through your heart
Substance is rejoicing not numbing
Where longing is a portal of wisdom
Where discontent and fear accompany joy
Where bitterness and sadness spring forth into faith
Where we are not defined by status but measured by our hearts
Where moonbeams lay upon the mountain tops untamed
Where raindrops wash away worries we named
Where the sun rises with perfection and not hurry
Where the day is folded into night and our hearts carry the light
Clarity has a view
It has been given to you