Present in the connection
River roaring to its chosen audience
Birds performing a soul moving orchestra
Trees adding their own rhythm practiced daily with precision
While the breeze so eloquently smooths every tune into an inner song
All echoing from the majestic mountains offering a priceless concert
An invitation is not needed
A willingness to enter is
Intense scents of pine inspire your deepest senses
Sweetly journeying through every fiber of pain transforming it into gratitude
Resting freely a top one of nature’s boulder strengths
Love and connection are found
Separate and clearly joined
Birds sing to one another as if love is all that really exists
The sound of the river takes no space, instead joyfully takes ownership of its existence to nurture presence
It carries wounds down that never return
It erases hardship without asking
The aroma of the river and pine create a tea for you and nature to thrive upon
Each needle left upon the ground leaving a legacy of its time here
Burn marks upon the trees carry a wisdom into healing and regeneration
It is within the layers all things exist and it is within the layers we learn to live among the experiences that created the strength to grow.
Under a shade tree where leaves are dancing with the peaceful melody of nature
Crackling through the small breeze I can hear them wrestling with one another in harmony
Madrone tree, you have won my heart in this moment
Feeling your presence offers protection
Standing with all that surrounds you in such beauty
Breathing life with your unaltered energy
Free to believe, to stand, to bend, to flow, to grow
Gratitude is running deep for the confidence you radiate so freely
Thank you for sharing
Thank you for the cracks you so proudly show as warrior wounds of your life
Thank you for sharing space with the earth’s delicate growth around you
Thank you for the soul food
Thank you for speaking such volume
Thank you for the confidence to stand beyond any doubts
Thank you for the invitation into this sacred space, to be loved, to sit with the uncomfortable and linger in your zesty energy
When I lost my son 3 years ago , I had no idea the roller coaster of emotions that would take over my body, mind and soul. I had no idea that even with so much love imbedded inside me that grief has its own path and respecting it, is vital. Healing occurs daily, but what I found out most in this 3rd year , that isn’t different than the prior years, I just didn’t figure it out until this year. That all pain lingers within grief, so when anything else hurts it opens the loss of my son again and again.
Maybe next year it’ll be different now that I figured that part out, but mostly what I want to share is that pain needs a place to feel freedom to fly, to soar and change and to grow and heal. All love remains even when pain shows up, however for someone looking in without the experience, it often is uncomfortable to see, to watch, to be patient in the process.
It is not something that is meant to be hurried or told to let go of or change. It is a personal process and every person is so different. Let it be, so it can see, so it can feel, let it be, so it move and not get stuck.
Pain is also a protector, something we hang on to in fear of letting go and being undone, or without, fear and pain dance a beautiful dance, awareness is a beautiful addition. You can dance with it or you can hold it so tight along with fear that you become unaware you’re not moving.
Move, create or find a space you feel free to feel, to think, to be all of who you are with all your emotions and feelings and then a new way will begin.
When we are able to sit in the pain and in the muck of life, there is where we see what were made of!
To give honor and respect to another
Honor and respect must first flow through you
To build a secure foundation for oneself inside
Requires tenacity and determination
To love oneself through the highest and lowest of times
Requires oneself to experience love
Love is continually gained and lost before we understand its significance
Even then there is an unknowing
An unknowing opens up vulnerability
To stand in the muck of life and be vulnerable
Is where we gain our best self
It is where we find what we’re made of
Where we get to see where we paid attention
Where we have gone and what we took with us
I realized after I lost my 24 year old son two years ago now, that pain really is inevitable, it happens to everyone and can happen without warning. We can be in our most vulnerable place inside and something happens and splits you wide open. You weren’t ready, you weren’t prepared and the honest truth is NOTHING could prepare you.
So then what? It is there where everything in our lives that we either let go of or held on to, shows up. Every lesson and every heartache is remembered and the wounds are fresh again. However in that moment where the heart remembers the pain it also remembers the healing and how you gave that attention or not.
If you didn’t put the work in and ignored it and allowed it to heal shut without acknowledging and entering into it, it will continue to walk you through it until you do, and then it will challenge you to make sure you learned. Its inevitable!
The lesson from something profound and often something so small can trigger all the same emotions. It is simply when you can feel the chaos of the moment and stand in it with freedom you are not in the chaos of this experience anymore. Reflect on the familiarity of being here before and what was learned and how honor and love are applied
See the Butterfly in the light?
It is in the transformation we find our design.
A butterfly will make many changes before it flies
Struggles will be part of their life
A necessary morphoses designed for each
The delicate awaiting of transformation will teach
The struggle is not always clear
A need to know is often driven by fear
Transformation comes within the struggles of time
A willingness to arrive in your own design
There will be pain and blessings, smiles and tears, both will be ok, both are needed to be who we are meant to be. Without struggle we would never know freedom. Without transformation, we would never see growth. Without love there would never be pain but with no pain we would never know the depth our love can reach.
To arrive in our own design, to me, means that we arrive with all our emotions, our lessons, our grief, our sorrows. To bring our joys , our trials and triumph and that we arrive in our fullest capacity to delicately transform with clarity that some things are never clear just a necessary part of our design.
Love and Hugs, Sunshine