He is everywhere
HEART SHOT
Shoot from your heart it will always give you the best shot!
~Kerri-Elizabeth~
Introduced to the skies
Viewed from the lenses of my eyes
Shot with my heart
Melted in the leaves
Embraced by a breeze
Open to a peaceful ease
I was once fully there
Among the blooms
Looking for you
I saw you
In the bloom
SUNSHINE
I’m a human experiencing life, experiencing me.
For the last almost 2 years since my son got his wings I have completely forgotten who I am, how to breathe , smile and get super excited and why I ever worked out and was super healthy and what it did for my soul and my mind and my body.
I wish I could have chosen my feelings somedays, I know it has been said “you chose it all”, DO WE?
Well I sure the heck didn’t choose my son to have cancer and then jet off to heaven before I was ready and if you think I had the power to change grief, THINK AGAIN!
We choose what we can and then we choose how to change the emotion based on an experience. It doesn’t mean it changes, it just means our thoughts are trying to work it out and create a new perspective so we can survive and preferably thrive.
Trauma changes your cellular level, your hearts memories, your responses are not all immediate. You must train your body, muscles, nerves, thoughts and beliefs to do something different.
I used to believe, just believe it. If you believe it, you also must be able to follow up.
When my son left( that D word is just not in my vocabulary) I’m telling you that my life was sucked out of me like a fighter jet going through me at double the capacity of reality.
NOTHING seemed to be left… I was wiped OUT inside and OUT.
Im still wiped out in so many ways and Im not going to pretend I’m NOT.
What I am going to tell you is that being present in NOW , being present in the reality of where I am at is how I’m moving and healing. NOT IN where anyone else thinks , but where I know.
YOU CAN ONLY GROW FROM WHERE YOUR REALITY IS! QUIT trying to grow from someone else’s space or the space in which you think you’re supposed to be.
BE WHERE YOU ARE AND LOVE THE JOURNEY IT’S THE ONLY WAY… don’t waste time in the pretending you’re somewhere you’re not. BE where you are, that is the only route to where you want to go!
Just don’t forget their is a route and make sure you keep moving!
UN-Done-NESS
Un-done-ness provides an opportunity and continuation to grow, an inevitable ever changing and re-arranging!
~Kerri Elizabeth~
Healing occurs in the un-done-ness
Nothing is done where healing and growth continues
Fire and winds
Inevitable change within
Detours arranged
Subconscious awaits
Un-done-ness
Whispering below the surface
Change me and rearrange me
Scatter emotional ashes like dandelion wishes in the wind
Transform weaknesses into strengths
Un-done-ness
Where epiphanies await
SUNSHINE
Un-done-ness is life, no matter what we figure out, where do we start and do we finish? It is all the foundation of a place you continue to grow. It is all you know, all you experience all that un-done-ness….. the beginning with no end… a continuation to evolve from every situation.
It is inevitable to change, we experience and learn from the changes or miss the opportunities it gave us in the deciding “I’ll never change, I am who I am and I’ll never change for anyone”.
It isn’t for anyone, its for everyone, we share this earthly place!
It is the resistance or control we hold (not to change)….. a resistance to inspiration we may not be able to reach or hold, a lack of worthiness inside us that holds us hostage from bravery and courage to be more than we are today.
Take a look at the world and what moves you. Being uncomfortable allows us to learn things we never would and always choosing where we think we most thrive limits our opportunities to grow.
Thriving doesn’t just happen where we feel bliss, it exists in the unknown or continuation (actually more so), in the un-done-ness, the stage to dance and the opportunity to be more than we are today, to add new steps with familiar steps and create more. Turn the music on and sing, dance and connect to the changes that re arrange us!
“NOT”, changing for anyone means YOU too!
Behind the Door
It is behind the closed door we hold more, where you must go to grow!
~Kerri Elizabeth~
Behind every door
Infused within a universe
Daring to overcome
Darkness and light sword fight
Equilibrium emerges,” I exist ”
Whispering quietly , “persevere”
Shed every tear, happiness and fear
Untangle the emotional trance
Dance
Perhaps destiny is in your hands
Possibility says
Its perfectly planned
Sunshine
Feel it to heal it!
It is behind our closed doors we must go to grow. In order to heal you must open the doors to the pain and rearrange the perception to change. Letting go and allowing awareness in, behind the closed doors is where healing begins.
It is the masks worn to cover our authentic selves that we must rip off, the doors unhinged and flown off, the core must be strengthened, held up, encouraged, unashamed and untamed , risk must enter in growth.
Some will approve, some will judge, some will leave you , some will love you, some will share and some will dare you, challenge you and arrive for you, and you will do the same to and for them.
Ultimately it is in the courage to reveal and unmask and be YOU that reveals each other…
When you are in the space of an others growth cycle, you will grow too or you will stay behind the closed doors waiting, instead of arriving together.
Where there is more than one, as training in any sport, you encourage one another to arrive at the finish line even when its at different points. As long as your all training, you all will arrive.
When you close your inner doors, when your stubborn and proud of that trait you will not arrive at the same finish line or gate. It is up to the team you choose to enter into the starting gate, to train and get to the finish line together, to encourage, to share, the enlighten to be aware, to connect, to reflect, to agree, to disagree, to hurt, to laugh, to cry to deny, to learn, to grow, to continue to move and not let go of the reasons why you want your team to win.
Thank you to my Oldest daughter Brandee today for her love and sharing her own lessons in life and for inspiring the continuation of this lesson inside of me.
SUNSHINE
Tropical Awakening
Photo by Kerri Elizabeth/Red Sands beach Maui, Hawaii
It is within the wave that inspires both respect and fear, it is within you to inspire which you draw near.
~Kerri Elizabeth~
Fascination overflows and escapes fear
Tears flow like a tropical rain
Integrated into the red sands
Salty waves awaken and exhilarate a radiance untouched
Tides crash upon surfaces like emotions escaping with force
The power of nature rumbles the earth with demand
Nothing else exists in this cove of wonder
Rumbling the jungle trees
Splashing in the salty breeze
Magnificent unexpected empowerment breathes
Set free in a tropical breeze
Sunshine
An unexpected opening and healing occurred in the tropical winds of Maui, a trip that taught me more than I could ever ask for and everything unexpected. Life changing events in ocean waves and on an island I have never been.
Road to Hana you are my favorite and I will be back soon, your waterfalls and your magnificent way you grow is breathtaking and your ability to transform me and open my heart and set a breeze to fly under my wings was magic. Thank you Mother Maui for holding me tight, you captured me in ways I never expected.
Thank you for humbling me and reminding me not all water is the same and Zak, thank you for arriving and speaking to me just in time, surrendering has way more power than I ever gave it credit for.
Surrender is not giving up power, it is the power in surrender that breathes courage.
HE IS EVERYWHERE
Emotions are not road blocks, they are the hardware of your internal compass guiding you to success, malfunctioning happens in the chaos before entering presence.
~Kerri Elizabeth~
Your my wind
The sun I see
Waterfalls in front of me
Your the rumble of the earths call
Your in nature centering it all
Your the waves in the ocean
My emotions
Your my heart beating
Your the footprints I see before me
Your there
Your everywhere
I saw you fly by
Leaving me a jet-stream in the sky
Your in the crickets singing lullabies
I hear you whisper, “Momma don’t cry
Look at me, wild and free
Success momma, is a place, you’ll see
Your set free to be
No separation from the land and sea
I’m with you MY MOMMA eternally”
SUNSHINE
As some of you know and others will hear along the way, my son passed on to his new place on July 30, 2017. There is never a day I don’t talk about him and never a day I won’t. Some people don’t know what to say, others don’t know how to hear the joy in the tears when I share. So silence has been my healing space, a place where Zak meets me face to face.
Silence gives room for emotions without the interference of chaos.
The capacity to understand is beyond me, I simply ride the wave and learn as I go. Emotions take over most of the time. I used to think I had to learn to control the emotions. In my meditation and silence I agonized in thought I had to accept(which I haven’t and as of now, it not on my list of somehow) that my son is gone. Because to me what works, is believing in the signs he’s here, it’s different that’s clear. However that’s my reality and the way the movie of emotions play in the silence inspired by every wave.
Accepting another way wasn’t working for me, instead I gave in, surrendering to the silence within, visualizing emotion in space, allowing it to be, as if it was a movie in front of me telling me a story, it showed me something profound.
Its your movie, its your story, let it play, let it make sounds, let it guide your way. Surrender to the silence where the movie can play without interference of the chaos in the day. This is where the chaos stops playing and emotions can be set free to find their way successfully.
It is up to you to allow emotions to have wings, they need room to fly, to experience and thrive, they can’t grow or go if they are trapped in the chaos of our minds.
Silence is stillness within, it doesn’t have to be without movement or a physical paralysis, it is within, a decision to let go of the wings you tie down on each emotion found. Let them fly in the sky, let them be free to be, to find there flight path succefully.
SONSHINE FOR YOU 