Forever and More you Soar

“Nature you call on me with such a diligent perseverance and a sweet persistent whisper that runs through my veins and does not take no for an answer, JUST LIKE ZAK!”

~Kerri-Elizabeth~

This swim was for you my son……………October 31,2019


Happy 27 th Birthday forever having fun
No waiting
No contemplating
No wetsuit
No worries
No fears
Just courage to live
Just deep sorrow in loss
Just memories of your voice
Just knowing you’d say… “you’re crazy, thats freezing”
Just knowing you’d cheer me on, from the shore, laughing and pushing me to do more
Just knowing you’d talk about it for a lifetime
Just knowing it was a moment that created a memory, made me jump
I heard you
I saw you in the reflection of the waters face
I felt your embrace
I heard your heartbeat inside mine
I know you’re there, everywhere
I’m here too
In heaven and on earth
My only son
We’re still together
It is you, so I embrace this pain and this view

SUNSHINE

On October 31st every year I am reminded on a greater scale the life as my son here on earth is now a journey of emotions and questions and grief and sorrow and memories and heart strings that will forever be pulled and stretched.

I will never be the same, nor do I want to be. I wanted to send this out on his birthday but it has taken me this many days to do it. I write often shorter versions of my sunshine on Instagram before they hit this page. It’s often my leave a thought page at @Kerrissunshine.

Its been only two years and none of it gets easier for me, this year the pain was even deeper, reality sometimes sets in and digs a hole deeper than I can go at the time, so it waits for me. This is where swimming in any weather shakes me up, stands me straight, alarms my system, especially in the winter and gives me a much needed restart and brings me back to complete presence.

My mind, body and heart decided this year , it would be all about spending time with Zak, I couldn’t do anything if I tried unless it included Zak. So work was out and crying and swimming and getting a new tattoo on Zaks birthday has now become tradition.

Take the moments you need and make them what you need to heal, to reveal, to seal, to unveil, to really get present. TO REALLY FEEL TO HEAL!

High Alert

It is not the measurement of self that matters, it is the spirit in which those measurements are carried that are the matter.
~Kerri-Elizabeth~

In the stirring of emotions

We must push the button, slow motion

Flow will critically alert an obstruction

Inflammation enters with a firm posture

An unforgiving imposter

With an overflow of what remains

Cut off the shackles of chains

Pain will call out, surrender and feel

Let go of what has not been revealed

Without feeling there is no healing

Stop to say no

Circulate love as a calling to your soul

Take care from within

Breathe from the deepest calling God has given

Breathe in and through the vessel that’s you

Infinite love needs room to flow through

SUNSHINE

There are moments we go and go, we go until we hurt, we reach until reaching is too far and requires a stool, then we reach more and grab a ladder to pull us farther into the reach.

Then reaching requires a reset and requires rejuvenation, healing, thought, rest, letting go, paying attention to what matters and never forget hydration.

When we alter what our body needs based on the pace of the world and the ties we have created to need and forget what honest and true value to our God given bodies require, we shorten the link to our health and our value on life and its importance.

In the process of living, breathing, nourishment and hydration, there is nourishment to your soul and your spirit that becomes deficient and in lack.

This creates vulnerability and requires immediate nourishment and care.

Let go of the requirements of people and time for a moment and look eye to eye with a ready heart to receive the most powerfully divine love, infinitely and powerfully available and never returned in void.

It is within the pain and vulnerabilities, you are being alerted to the deficiencies that require your immediate attention.