Butterflies

See the Butterfly in the light?

It is in the transformation we find our design.

~Kerri-Elizabeth~

A butterfly will make many changes before it flies
Struggles will be part of their life
A necessary morphoses designed for each
The delicate awaiting of transformation will teach
The struggle is not always clear
A need to know is often driven by fear
Transformation comes within the struggles of time
A willingness to arrive in your own design

SUNSHINE

 

There will be pain and blessings, smiles and tears, both will be ok, both are needed to be who we are meant to be. Without struggle we would never know freedom. Without transformation, we would never see growth. Without love there would never be pain but with no pain we would never know the depth our love can reach.

To arrive in our own design, to me, means that we arrive with all our emotions, our lessons, our grief, our sorrows. To bring our joys , our trials and triumph and that we arrive in our fullest capacity to delicately transform with clarity that some things are never clear just a necessary part of our design.

Love and Hugs, Sunshine

 

Rays Speak

Stand in the rays of glory and surrender to rejuvenation and renewal.

~Kerri-Elizabeth~

Within your rays

Prayers are arranged

Glory speaks to the heart

Reflection meets presence

Resemblance delivers peace

Surrender rejuvenates intuition

Renewal arrives with ease

It is in your image 

Under your rays 

Renewal stays

Sunshine

 

When you just stand under the rays of Gods grace, the energy of this miracle will embrace you in your place. It will renew you, rejuvenate you and it will  speak to you in the presence of surrendering to a voice that is most loving.

We tend to be hardest on ourselves and can question our thoughts and our emotions to a point confusion tires and clutters our intuitions and turns our knowing into a guessing game of maybes. 

I have found that just even a moment under the rays renews my spirit and fills me with gratitude and my breathing becomes calmer and somehow I am delivered into peace with ease.

It is the rays of sunshine and the lakes and river waters I am called often, to hear the most steady voice and in this I am fully revived.

Find what that is for you and be called to it and listen.

 

 

 

Embrace It

Embrace IT!

SUNSHINE

Embracing the moment in a very present matter is where time is never erased.What passes by in a glimpse and is not presently captured you will find, that time erases. Someone how it is not hardwired and the absence of the presence missed erases and can never be captured again.

This can be defined as regret or grief, we get stuck in a ,”what if”, or “should have” and “never did” and time is critically erased without memory of the details of the present moment that could have been captured and never erased. Be present and diligent to your spirits calling to notice Gods gifts around you and the gift of life and love that has been put into your presence.

Time can disappear or it can be captured by our hearts and lives in ways time is never erased.

Capture the moment!

Forever and More you Soar

“Nature you call on me with such a diligent perseverance and a sweet persistent whisper that runs through my veins and does not take no for an answer, JUST LIKE ZAK!”

~Kerri-Elizabeth~

This swim was for you my son……………October 31,2019


Happy 27 th Birthday forever having fun
No waiting
No contemplating
No wetsuit
No worries
No fears
Just courage to live
Just deep sorrow in loss
Just memories of your voice
Just knowing you’d say… “you’re crazy, thats freezing”
Just knowing you’d cheer me on, from the shore, laughing and pushing me to do more
Just knowing you’d talk about it for a lifetime
Just knowing it was a moment that created a memory, made me jump
I heard you
I saw you in the reflection of the waters face
I felt your embrace
I heard your heartbeat inside mine
I know you’re there, everywhere
I’m here too
In heaven and on earth
My only son
We’re still together
It is you, so I embrace this pain and this view

SUNSHINE

On October 31st every year I am reminded on a greater scale the life as my son here on earth is now a journey of emotions and questions and grief and sorrow and memories and heart strings that will forever be pulled and stretched.

I will never be the same, nor do I want to be. I wanted to send this out on his birthday but it has taken me this many days to do it. I write often shorter versions of my sunshine on Instagram before they hit this page. It’s often my leave a thought page at @Kerrissunshine.

Its been only two years and none of it gets easier for me, this year the pain was even deeper, reality sometimes sets in and digs a hole deeper than I can go at the time, so it waits for me. This is where swimming in any weather shakes me up, stands me straight, alarms my system, especially in the winter and gives me a much needed restart and brings me back to complete presence.

My mind, body and heart decided this year , it would be all about spending time with Zak, I couldn’t do anything if I tried unless it included Zak. So work was out and crying and swimming and getting a new tattoo on Zaks birthday has now become tradition.

Take the moments you need and make them what you need to heal, to reveal, to seal, to unveil, to really get present. TO REALLY FEEL TO HEAL!

Reflect and Revise

From behind the lens of our heart we will see beauty and we will see pain, both intertwined expressing our deepest love!

Kerri Elizabeth

Unearth and evoke your spirit

Forge into a glorious exploration of reflection

Clarify within your hearts rhythm

Cup your ears hearing only the life inside

Explore and observe an anatomical connection

Access precision and revise the reflection of your most current addition

Clarify empathy, passion and personal intent

Informance quietly awakes your soul

Performance is unpressured

Taking a lengthy look into reflection

Strength is not built by the thought

Its is built by the experience of accepting grace

By honoring a divine space

Reflection is what spills from our core

Breathe and allow the revising of more

It is with great pain I feel this. As the passion of my son and his birthday is upon me for the second year since he left I am filled with love and overflowing with pain. I recognize the tangling of emotions intertwine to deepen our sense to love, presence, health and what is really important to us.

It leaves little room disappear, take detours and to escape. It is the presence of the pain in my heart that needs honoring, not escaping, it is the pain that is talking to me and telling me things I need to know and recognize.

No matter what you are going through, the work it takes to overcome and to grow and revise your core is worth allowing your reflection to show and heart to open. You will not escape the pain but rather it will sit dormant waiting to be honored as a part of your journey.

There is no need detour back to the depth of the experience giving it more power and judging it. There is simply a need to honor it as part of your journey giving it gratitude and moving forward into the gifts that are awaiting you.

Noise that knows…

There is a peaceful noise available where truth awaits our stillness.

~Kerri Elizabeth~

Within the winds knowledge blows

Within the cold crisp breeze, autumn shows

Inside a sunset sitting with ease

Amongst a lake flirting with natures breeze

Where calmness leaves behind a wrestling dis-ease

Where the sky opens infinitely

Noise is beautiful when it comes from the trees

Expressed in the sound of bees

The feeling of peace released

In the magnificent places

Where nature rests

Where wrestling is branch to branch

Where rivers dance

Where mountains make a mighty stance

Where oceans roar and sand is stored

Where an echo is a sign of more

In a canyon where intrigue is stored

Where beauty is defined by the ages of times

SUNSHINE

The Stirring

It will be in the stirring you find yourself in the gap!

Kerri-Elizabeth

In the aroma of the wind and the brisk breeze that grasps your hand will lead your heart to purpose

In the flooding of rivers and sudden changes in the lands brings surrender to our creator

The shaking and shivering of trees and leaves circulate a rippling of awareness

The awakening of the birds and the sounds of nature’s presence is the only place you will hear purpose in a voice

Anything less is a counterfeit excursion upon the ship of distractions

You will feel an ongoing stirring and a pulling into surrender that will lead you to where you can hear

In the midst of any storm there is a center of sight, an eye of truth that you can not escape

It is always within this view you will find a gap nothing exists except me

Interference has no place to dance within this gap

This is where you must travel and adventure

This is where the wrestling of wildlife and rattling of leaves lead you

This is where you have been lead after asking, why the lightning storm

Few will stop to hear and see with a desire for knowing, it is within the center and the aftermath peace is formed

Few will feel and only see a sight without ever knowing purpose

Sunshine

After and intense lightening storm and the power of its might and the storms across our nation my soul has been overflowing with emotion and empathy.

I pray for healing across the lands that have been flooded and changed at such rapid rates, where people have lost lives and families that once felt safe are now reaching for their most inner strengths and faith.

It is within that stirring we find, when all else is lost there is always a Gap where you and God exist and there is a voice where purpose has a place.

Love to so many!

I searched for you and me

She dared herself to live with courage and found courage in living!
~Kerri-Elizabeth~

I searched for you and me

I looked high and low, in front and behind every tree

I glanced off the cliffs below

I searched long and hard, did you know

In the clouds and in the lakes

I searched rivers and mountains with no breaks

I called for you and no one replied

I cried for you inside

I drove miles and miles looking for a glimpse to pull aside

I longed for you and knew you longed for me

To find you was beyond my reach

I was looking for you 

Missing every queue

I looked for the depth of what I should be

Who someone else wanted to see

I lost sight of my own dreams

I thought I was lost where I once was found

Then one day courage stood its ground

Vulnerability spoke with a fierce sound

Wherever you go, there you will be

I’m you and me

~Kerri Elizabeth

When we experience life, life is also experiencing us, I believe. When we go farther and faster and search for ourselves instead of the experiences that creates our selves ,we miss the queues that it is ourselves we are escaping.

When we run from ourselves, we run from our faith, our beliefs, our dreams and our core foundation. When we deny our own existence is not enough because of someone else’s opinion or judgement, then we deny our ability to grow, to serve, to lead, to inspire, to be driven, to reach, to grasp courage with all your might and LIVE beyond limitations set by ourselves or others.

We become stuck within another or others lives and deny our own growth waiting for another growth. The best gift you can give yourself and another is the freedom to be loved at the exact place you are so they have room to move forward. This is courageous!

LIVE WITH COURAGE!

High Alert

It is not the measurement of self that matters, it is the spirit in which those measurements are carried that are the matter.
~Kerri-Elizabeth~

In the stirring of emotions

We must push the button, slow motion

Flow will critically alert an obstruction

Inflammation enters with a firm posture

An unforgiving imposter

With an overflow of what remains

Cut off the shackles of chains

Pain will call out, surrender and feel

Let go of what has not been revealed

Without feeling there is no healing

Stop to say no

Circulate love as a calling to your soul

Take care from within

Breathe from the deepest calling God has given

Breathe in and through the vessel that’s you

Infinite love needs room to flow through

SUNSHINE

There are moments we go and go, we go until we hurt, we reach until reaching is too far and requires a stool, then we reach more and grab a ladder to pull us farther into the reach.

Then reaching requires a reset and requires rejuvenation, healing, thought, rest, letting go, paying attention to what matters and never forget hydration.

When we alter what our body needs based on the pace of the world and the ties we have created to need and forget what honest and true value to our God given bodies require, we shorten the link to our health and our value on life and its importance.

In the process of living, breathing, nourishment and hydration, there is nourishment to your soul and your spirit that becomes deficient and in lack.

This creates vulnerability and requires immediate nourishment and care.

Let go of the requirements of people and time for a moment and look eye to eye with a ready heart to receive the most powerfully divine love, infinitely and powerfully available and never returned in void.

It is within the pain and vulnerabilities, you are being alerted to the deficiencies that require your immediate attention.

SMILE FOREVER

Laughter is a legacy that never ends!
~Kerri-Elizabeth~

It has been two years my son since I have heard you say, “MOMMA”
It has been two years since you said, “I love you”
It has been two years my heart is forever changed
and my life drastically rearranged
It has been two years that I held your hand in mine
I see you in every ray of sunshine
It has been two years since you hugged me tight
Your videos and photos keep me upright
It has been two years since I’ve heard your heart beating
Two years since I heard you breathing
It has been two years since we sat and laughed
Two years since you were photographed
It has been two years since you asked me to make you cookies
Two years you asked me to sneak you goodies
It has been two years of missing you
Two years of aligning with a new attitude
It will be a lifetime I honor you with my tears
It will be a lifetime I am thinking about your 24 years
It will be a lifetime I talk about you son
A lifetime my feelings will be challenged and undone
I’m also smiling when I cry
Inside
I can feel you around me flying by
I love you,
MOM

Zakary Ryan Swift 10-31-92/07-30-2017

Forever I will love you, forever I have loved you, forever you are loved!

To the love you have given me for a lifetime, to the strength you continue to pour into me.
To the laughter you graced my life with.
To every single wrinkle, grey hair and stretch mark you gave me to remember you
THANK YOU
To every smile you left in my memory
to every giggle I still feel
To every text and phone call I will keep forever to hear you
To every birthday I will celebrate forever
To every tattoo I will continue to collect that reminds me of you
To every cookie I eat, I think of you
To every shot of tequila, I send cheers to you
To every swim, I dedicate them to you
To every day I rise up and thank God he gave me you
To everyday, and every lifetime, you’re forever my son
SUNSHINE (aka. YOUR MOMMA)