Oh Momma, you are now free to fly and love at depths that cause no pain, see at lengths you never could and to feel grace under your beautiful new wings.
Greif holds no power to what I feel since you left this earth
Grief holds no candle to the feeling since my son went first
You know so well the feeling I could never escape
It seems you may have had that too
The tragedy of loss to so many I have loved so deeply
The closeness of my grandmother, the father that raised me
All gone too soon in tragic endings
Oh Mom I can never erase the years we didn’t talk
The pain you felt when you walked
I can never erase the heart breaks and the misunderstandings it took us so long to shake
I can’t erase the days you wanted to talk about life and never could
I can’t erase the differences that could easily hold “we should”
You losing your mom so early and me never knowing the pain that shook your world too early
As if it was a secret never to be revealed
A past never healed
A memory never shared
Or maybe a pain that never found its way into expressions or words
Or maybe your expressions where the pain
Maybe our differences where the words
Oh mom I feel like I will never know the depth of pain you really felt
But I can tell you I truly feel them all right now with no answer to my calls
Oh, am I calling the wrong line
Have I forgotten it is our hearts that will always be aligned
So many lessons are only learned when the line we always knew is no longer heard
I love you forever MOMMA, thank you for the many many many lessons I learned and all the health you instilled into me, for the nature calls, for the sunshine chasing, for the river dips and lake swims, for growing up where I thought I didn’t want to and now live to get back to it as often as possible.
Thank you Momma for all the research and all the times you followed my adventures on Onstar and told me where every waterfall and river was, where to go off grid but always only where you could still know I lived.
Thank you Mom for the times you could never share your truth with me, because now I search for you and look forward to you showing me in a way you felt you never could.
Thank you Mom for all I have learned and please help me in forgiving so much along my path so I can truly thrive and live.
Help me everyday to be a better mom and Nina(grandma) and teach me along the way!
Love, your only daughter, willing to jump into glaciers, run wild and naked in the woods, to love the deer and kiss the fish, love the daughter you taught to run barefoot in all climates and listen to music not TV, love your only daughter who loved every animal as my sibling, love me mom in all my faults, feisty stance and stubbornness you taught me so well, love me mom and my ways that are much like yours, just searching and looking for the deepest peace!!!!!
Love to my most precious follower, MY MOM