Behind the Door

It is behind the closed door we hold more, where you must go to grow!

~Kerri Elizabeth~

Behind every door
Infused within a universe
Daring to overcome
Darkness and light sword fight
Equilibrium emerges,” I exist ”
Whispering quietly , “persevere”
Shed every tear, happiness and fear
Untangle the emotional trance
Dance
Perhaps destiny is in your hands
Possibility says
Its perfectly planned

Sunshine
Feel it to heal it!

 

It is behind our closed doors we must go to grow. In order to heal you must open the doors to the pain and rearrange the perception to change. Letting go and allowing awareness in, behind the closed doors is where healing begins.

It is the masks worn to cover our authentic selves that we must rip off, the doors unhinged and flown off, the core must be strengthened, held up, encouraged, unashamed and untamed , risk must enter in growth.

Some will approve, some will judge, some will leave you , some will love you, some will share and some will dare you, challenge you and arrive for you, and you will do the same to and for them.

Ultimately it is in the courage to reveal and unmask and be YOU that reveals  each other…

When you are in the space of an others growth cycle, you will grow too or you will stay behind the closed doors waiting, instead of arriving together.

Where there is more than one, as training in any sport, you encourage one another to arrive at the finish line even when its at different points. As long as your all training, you all will arrive.

When you close your inner doors, when your stubborn and proud of that trait you will not arrive at the same finish line or gate. It is up to the team you choose to enter into the starting gate, to train and get to the finish line together, to encourage, to share, the enlighten to be aware, to connect, to reflect, to agree, to disagree, to hurt, to laugh, to cry to deny, to learn, to grow, to continue to move and not let go of the reasons why you want your team to win.

Thank you to my Oldest daughter Brandee today for her love and sharing her own lessons in life and for inspiring  the continuation of this lesson inside of me.

SUNSHINE

 

Inspired by Expression

 

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Be you, release your expressions, this is your chance to live, what you see is temporary, choose creatively instead of reactively.

~Kerri Elizabeth~

She feels fire burning in her belly

Her heart space tattooed with the name of her son

He is physically gone but an energetic powerhouse
Her deepest emotions rippling through her veins
Pounding the inner doors relentlessly
Release me
Her lips quiver with anticipation for adventure

Release me

Her facial lines roadmaps of experiences with continued space to roam

She falls and gets back up

Her heart quietly and slowly peaking through the fence posts of life
Release me

Words line up at the starting line
Embracing the inner whisper first
Release me
It’s expression
Release me
It’s creativity
Release me
Art swirling through her mind
A song singing
Through her harps strings
Release me

SUNSHINE

 

Life is our choice, we can live, or we can hide, we can give and receive, we can awaken or we can close up. Our outside is temporary, it is the adventure and the canvas in which we have the space to create. I believe with adventure and experience we give our souls more light and space to shine. With that newness comes intrigue and curiosity, excitement and inspiration.

The answers we all look for are already inside of us!

Open doors to create and explore more, love with all you are, love is the direct neutralizer. When you live from your heart space and creatively respond instead of react we allow ourselves true ownership of our actions and blame is neutralized and no longer exists.

Ultimately blame is our unwillingness to be present in our own actions, leaving no room to succeed and giving our power away to another. When we take ownership we are now acting from our own truth and loving ourselves and neutralizing any other energy interfering in that act.

Interference comes from a leak in our own confidence and with that we can’t properly discern the energy we allow in until we are faced with an opportunity to be in gratitude we recognized it and grow.

I am inspired to continue to remember I am the change that needs to be made and I am the change that allows others the freedom and space to also be inspired by their own change, inspiring others in this beautiful ripple effect of creatively being.

Thank you to all the beautiful people that inspire me everyday!

 

 

 

Creating Stars

You create the stars in your own sky, the reflection comes from the love you have inside!

~Kerri Elizabeth~

 

The craving of a lake

 Oxygen seeping from the trees

Breathe

Sunshine and the soul

Moonlight and darkness

Constant shifts in the breeze

Speak to me

Power in the stars

Mesmerizing from afar

How do they know where to be

Gravity you say

Maybe there’s more

Did God make it that way

Maybe, or he or she, or more than either of these, made it a different way

Can we see more than what we believe

What if the stars are all one light

A blanket of energy exquisitely bright

Creating stars

By the limits our eyes can focus at night

Are we planted in the universe

By a tiny seed

Growing only by the beliefs we think we need

Are we creating the view

Convincing one another

What is true

SUNSHINE

Waterfalls

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Let go of anything that crowds the space where love grows!

~Kerri Elizabeth~

 

Indescribable alignment

Where her soul flows

Her heartbeats slow

Where pace is not a race

Where the entities of space wrap her in golden light

Where turquoise hues offers a sanctuary of internal views

It’s deciding the rubble and dust is simply the introduction

Her souls invitation, trust me

Step into the rubble

Step lightly, breath slow

A few more steps

Then a waterfall

The rubbles cleared

I’m here

Believe me

I’ve never left you

I’ve always been near

Sunshine

Infinite Light

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A covering of truths is a silence of scarred fears and an unwillingness to adjust and move!

~Kerri Elizabeth~

In the random coverings of our deepest truths

Under layers of emotions, doubts and un-still fears

The covering floats, moves, and allows us the process to adjust

Temporary rest requires a respectful gathering of truths

A clearing of what no longer serves you and thickens the plot of emotional chaos

Adjust your movements to free space in the gallery of your anatomy

Movement and adjustment opens truth

It is not under the cover you take off in flight

It is in the respectful process under cover

You move into the infinite possibilities of light

SUNSHINE

Change or Grow…. part 2

In every space the purpose is the present, be fully in it!

~Kerri Elizabeth~

Hello to you all and thank you ahead of time for reading my soul writing and I hope in someway it will inspire you.

If you are struggling with something from the present or past, a relationship, work, family, finances, loss or loneliness, anger or frustration among other emotions that fester before healed, may this shine light on at least one of these and it be healed and forgiven because it can.

Part 2 of a long journey……………

Deep in the woods of Utah, above the hot sun line where snow still laid on the ground and ice blanketed the windows in my car at night. It was early Feb. toward the end of a 40 day journey on the road through 5 states, that shifted me in ways I wasn’t prepared for but completely open for.

I knew my life was going to change the minute I decided to hit the road and leave all I knew to Mother nature’s grand healing, hugs and invitation to be open to the elements of surprise.

Zak (my son)told me to leave two months before and I resisted for reasons that were less important than healing the loss of my child. The grief was setting in deep, loss, loneliness and a depression I have never experienced (I had zero tendencies to depression and always had a smile, UNTIL….my child died).

This was an eye opener as to what a trauma of 5 constant years of watching your child suffer and not being able to find an answer and then watching him pass while holding one hand, his wife another and my youngest daughter holding his head as comfortable as she could. He literally was suffocating and struggling to breathe on his way out. Horrifying to experience.

He didn’t want to miss a moment and be so medicated and on hospice he didn’t feel life.

He felt life to the last breathe in the most painful ways, but he felt it, he didn’t resist it, he wanted life more than death and used all he was given.

This isn’t going to sound like SUNSHINE right off the bat, but please stick with me, it’s all an adventure through darkness with a light that never dies.

This is the partial story that sent me packing. Move, do something big, drastic and different or stay in the story of trauma and agony. I chose MORE! Zak was not my only struggle to get through. I was also years into a relationship that offered more lessons to me than any relationship has ever gifted me in my entire life. I won’t talk about this part for now and never in depth because it’s one side and I know, I truly and fully loved, thats all that matters here.

I can tell you this, it was one of those relationships that challenge who you are to your very core, that hold your highest highs and deepest lows.

I chose my life and who I spent it with, we don’t get to choose our consequences most often though, but we do have the opportunity to choose our actions and how we show up for our consequences.

Consequences usually include an action that is tied to or involves others lives and ideas, hence not having control over the entire picture.

We can’t change others, only ourselves, however, so often we enable others by trying to heal wounds that aren’t ours, or compare and demand fairness, whatever that is for you, and we end up enabling ourselves and missing our own lessons completely.

This part of the journey is about my own lessons and what I have been so fortunate to learn, I have no control over anything else.

I woke this particular morning knowing this day would be a different day, I had spent the entire trip writing about what I wanted in my life, how I wanted to show up for myself and what that would take for me. I honestly couldn’t make sense of much else, other than making sure I ate right and monitored my well being on the day I left, Dec. 30th.

I just knew my life was different and was about to change even more.

It had to be different and putting it into words as I write even still is difficult. I feel it all so deep, no words seem to explain it at the depth I feel it.

It was a freezing cold morning in my Buick Encore, a thought out organized cozy space inside with all I needed to travel, sleep and be comfortable wherever I was and feel safe and secure inside when I chose any off the beaten path areas. This particular space was definitely off the beaten path, in a secret off the grid magical space filled with wonder, like a fairytale. It felt surreal to me, and honestly at this point everything was surreal and not just in beautiful ways.

My kitten Angel was always with me, she went everywhere with me since she was 6 weeks old, so she loved traveling and exploring anywhere and everywhere.

The night before, Zak clearly told me as I was locked in my car, to just be calm and get my computer out. Mind you I had been off the grid and off electricity for some time now and the chances of my computer working was zero, it was cold, draining every battery I had and I hadn’t charged it in weeks. I didn’t even have a charged phone or service where I was. Zak persisted with me to open it, so I did. Sure enough when I opened it, music started playing, music I didn’t even know was on my computer and it was music I wasn’t familiar with, but it all had a purpose and a reason for me at that moment.

I listened for two solid hours and Zak told me to start writing what I was feeling.

I couldn’t write fast enough, it was flowing like lava through my fingers onto the keyboard. It was dark outside and it was cold and I was snuggled in tight with Angel in gratitude for the anxious knowing my life was about to change drastically.

I fell asleep finally, hours after the music and the writing and the constant appreciation that was pouring out of me for whatever was next.

I hit my wall of tolerance to stand in darkness any longer, I wasn’t going down depressed and I wasn’t going down as a victim to anyone, including myself.

I had control of what I wanted in my life going forward and the lighthouse was beaming non stop with light beams that ONLY pointed in the direction I was to trust without question. That included using my voice again with power and strength and trust whatever came out was exactly what was meant to.

I woke up with a new outlook, Zak had my back, he played music for 2 hours teaching me, empowering me, filling me with zest for life again, telling me it was all going to be ok, he had my back.

No matter what happened at this point I had a powerful extension of me working from another dimension. I trusted 100% Zak had it all planned and the consequences were going to be rough but they were going to be worth every second of the pain, agony, defeat, darkness, crawling and shattered torn feeling I was about to experience.

I had no idea that the consequences to my voice would be to experience the rest of the adventure alone in the mountains of Utah off the grid with no phone service suddenly, and that I would literally be in the hands of Mother Nature and God and trusting all I had manifested and opened my heart to was going to tear every wound I ever had wide open.

ZAK APPEARS IN A PHYSICAL FORM …. NEXT…. stay tuned….. this has been hard to put in writing, I originally wanted to have it to you every week, but more patience is required of myself and I am honoring it. I have to write it in parts and make sure I am grounded, in my healing, meditating and being diligent with my life going forward…..

I can tell you this much more before the next part… I am divinely placed to radically share my light to the world and I will NEVER STOP!

SUNSHINE

Undone in the Adventure

 

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We must come undone and feel to heal.

~Kerri Elizabeth~

It is in the allowing to feel

The very disintegration of turmoil

To be cremated and set free in the breeze

In the heartbeat a recorded voice speaks

A whisper and rage to escape the cage

Trauma re-arranges the perceptions

A willing adventure through the hearts chambers

Offers a solid embraced tour of compassion and love

Inside of everyone is an invitation to come un-done

To walk in the storm of emotions and scream

The need to be seen by the source of our being

Turn around and you’ll see

Being still only for a moment in the turmoil and defeat

It is only in the thought the light is absent

Turn around, you’ll find

The light was always filling you on the other side

Dance now

Let the light fill every side

Sunshine

 

Lucky Coins

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Dance with the the rhythm of your soul and the freedom to let go!

~Kerri Elizabeth~

 

May you dance in the streets and feel the rhythm of your soul

Find lucky coins under your feet

and

your smile the base in every beat

May you feel freedom in the wind

And love in the rain

May rainbows give you cover in a storm

May the moon be your nightlight gratefully worn

and

the sun be the rise of a new day!

SUNSHINE

Identity

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Close your eyes, let go and feel the identity that’s revealed, this source of energy is real, you’re the beauty in the source field, not the opinions and dogmas of the world.

~Kerri Elizabeth~

 

Identity is in your energy

The essence of you

The beauty you bestow

The love you hold

The soul of you

 Your spirit

The core of more, the DNA 

The truth, the nitty gritty

Your authentic emotions and feelings

Not anothers

You’re not another’s judgements or opinions

You’re not recognition or a profile

Identity is your gift you were chosen to be and do something more than this

What is this…what is more

More is when you hear your own breathing and it’s not shallow, labored and ignored

It’s not taken for granted but explored

More is when your physical frame is relaxed and you are the door to more

More is when your heart speaks and there is no misinterpreting the message

More is when your vibration is unshakeable

More is when love flows and you are present in all that’s true for you

More is when life opens doors because you cleared space to be embraced

More is what you allow

More is a presence 

An energy flow when you decide

Your identity is nothing to hide

To know yourself, is to forget yourself

Without a thought

Identity

Is energy thats free

To be

SUNSHINE