Have you ever had a disagreement with someone while you’re looking at the exact same thing and both of you see it completely different or you both hear something and hear it completely different?
How can that can even be possible, you’re looking right at it, or hear it clearly and so do they.
Have you ever continued to disagree, trying to convince the other person your point of view or look at them like they lost their noodles, feeling your adrenaline rushing as you’re trying to make them see and hear and feel what you are, needing it as if you need air for that moment?
Frustration , misunderstanding, different interpretations and now a full blown meltdown you can’t get them to understand or see what you see. Rejection sets in, abandonment, turmoil inside is triggered and love is left behind by emotions you had no idea where there.
Over time and through growth and experience the solution is found, seen, worked on, you’ve now come to a place these things just don’t bother you, until one day it shows up again……
How do you react or respond ,not to the other person, but to YOU?
Our reactions and responses are purely from our own point of view, we have to make room for change, recreating , healing and intentionally wanting to be a better version of ourselves , while leaving room for others to do the same, “Write It” and you’ll see.
I am more than the child that grew up with fight or flight emotions and feelings
An imposter lived here, a fearful, unready and unwilling part of me
In control of nothing but wanting to control everything
Living in a darkness of the world
Running into it at the same time I was running away from it
Religion captured me and gave me a safe box to live in for years
“Oh,” God is very real to me, but religion is no longer a vice
That box got smaller as experiences got bigger and it didn’t make sense to live there anymore
I couldn’t breathe
I couldn’t talk
I couldn’t move
I couldn’t escape the judgment of what I was told I needed to do and not what my deeper self was calling me to do
I was screaming inside for years
As if I was watching myself from a distance, I observed so much confusion and pain
Filled with insecurities grounded in shame and blame that I could never do enough to erase
What I faced was the habit energy
The energy that was continually lived in fight or flight , over compensations, under compensations and so much more
While smiling and living I was also dyeing
I was raising kids while raising myself
I was married while not even understanding what that required
I lived small because small seemed bigger than what I felt capable of handling at times
I lived on others terms because I had no idea life had terms I had the power to make
I knew deep within there was more
I knew deep within I had more
I chose more of myself many times, to then allow doubt to loosen my grip
I had no idea how to break through to that next place
Disapointing others while listening to my own calling was like climbing Mt. Everest with no training
That’s when I realized it was going to mean I had to disappoint myself
It all required me to re-train myself
I had to change my story and I was going to have to reject the current narrative and disapoint myself by announcing I was more than the skin I had lived in all these years
That would seem like a milestone in gratitude to many, however it meant to me, I had to invite part of myself to move out
I had to leave behind the blame, the shame and the rejections not just of my own but from others
I now could give myself safety
I now could stand strong for me
I could say I mattered
I could say NO
I now could disapoint another to show up for myself, knowing that the disappointment was their journey and I had no business fixing it
I had to thank the space and move away, bless it for the experiences and lessons and leave it behind
It wasn’t supposed to become me, it was suppose to teach me
It did
At the exact time it was suppose to
It happened in loss
It happend in change
It happened in pain
It happened in tears
It didn’t happen with joy or laughter
It happend when I felt no hope
It happend when I was empty
When I was my most challenged
It happened in anger
In rejections
It happened in misunderstandings I had to let go of and allow the teaching of it
It happened in letting go of people I thought would never leave
It happend in the learning of how to have a relationship with my son from the heavens, instead of in the physical presence
It happened in sickness
It happened in the lowest times, the hardest times, the most doubtful times
It is still happening and I understand that these times are never to be wished away , but to be observed with new insight
To look into pain and to ache while you smile is part of life’s best and most insightful journeys to success
Happiness is a foundation that requires remodeling continually
When we are able to sit in the pain and in the muck of life, there is where we see what were made of!
~Kerri-Elizabeth~
To give honor and respect to another
Honor and respect must first flow through you
To build a secure foundation for oneself inside
Requires tenacity and determination
To love oneself through the highest and lowest of times
Requires oneself to experience love
Love is continually gained and lost before we understand its significance
Even then there is an unknowing
An unknowing opens up vulnerability
To stand in the muck of life and be vulnerable
Is where we gain our best self
It is where we find what we’re made of
Where we get to see where we paid attention
Where we have gone and what we took with us
Shows up
SUNSHINE
I realized after I lost my 24 year old son two years ago now, that pain really is inevitable, it happens to everyone and can happen without warning. We can be in our most vulnerable place inside and something happens and splits you wide open. You weren’t ready, you weren’t prepared and the honest truth is NOTHING could prepare you.
So then what? It is there where everything in our lives that we either let go of or held on to, shows up. Every lesson and every heartache is remembered and the wounds are fresh again. However in that moment where the heart remembers the pain it also remembers the healing and how you gave that attention or not.
If you didn’t put the work in and ignored it and allowed it to heal shut without acknowledging and entering into it, it will continue to walk you through it until you do, and then it will challenge you to make sure you learned. Its inevitable!
The lesson from something profound and often something so small can trigger all the same emotions. It is simply when you can feel the chaos of the moment and stand in it with freedom you are not in the chaos of this experience anymore. Reflect on the familiarity of being here before and what was learned and how honor and love are applied
It seems the stillness is where everything is found
Where movement comes alive
Where the waves crashing tell a story
Where the leaves dance and sing with glory
Where the birds soar with intension
Where pain and joy have no tension
Where love remains throughout
It seems in the stillness is where everything is found
Where feeling is in the beat of your heart
Where your mind sinks into a rational peace
It seems that in the stillness is where everything is found
When your lost, be still, you will hear the whisper
Be still it is where everything is found
SUNSHINE
In my stillness I can feel the intensity of all that moves around me. I can feel my heart beating and my chest rising. I can almost see with inner eyes the blood flowing through me. I can see the pain in another eyes and wonder is that the reflection of so much more to be healed within me?
Where you are calm you will hear, where you are still you will know, where you find peace, love will grow.
Your body is already speaking to you, it wants more or less of something, it may be in pain, or sickness or anger has driven a wedge between you and stillness. Sadness may be filled with joyful gestures to cover up the feeling we can’t seem to shake and loss may be settling in your bones with numbness you can’t seem to touch.
What if all of this is ok and what if all of this is the beautiful process we need to become our truest version of ourselves. What if who you are right now is exactly who you need to be ,to become who you want to be. What if every step from this space is a step forward into the acceptance, it is the process. It is the falling apart that requires us to heal.
It is when you realize all attachments to emotions are like rain.
~Kerri Elizabeth~
Within every rain drop a mystery
Power in a rain-drop creates history
Anticipation of more appears
Raindrops enter like heaven’s tears
Cleansing all thats near
How many are there
Where did they hide
Is there matter attached inside
How does condensation appear
With weather, with temperature, with the clouds near
Why don’t the clouds fall down
Does a raindrop feel the ground
Raindrops inspiring curiosity and wonder
Often joined by sunshine and thunder
Watering the earth
Filling the lakes
Provoking inspiration through Gods grace
SUNSHINE
Somedays will be so hard you wonder, how and where, what and why? What is hard now , won’t seem hard later, your strength is always challenged by the coming together and falling apart of life. The rain will come, it will wash away some things and it will dam up others.
It will depend where you are standing when it rains, you must decide when the rain is talking to you and when its cleansing you. Is it moving you or is it cleansing you and how will you know?
Nature always explains everything, it is the grace of God speaking.
You may not see grace in it, you may only see fear or grief and so many other feelings of despair you just don’t want to bare.
When you stand in the grace the emotions will not be attachments but simply rain drops reminding you, you’re alive!
A butterfly will make many changes before it flies Struggles will be part of their life A necessary morphoses designed for each The delicate awaiting of transformation will teach The struggle is not always clear A need to know is often driven by fear Transformation comes within the struggles of time A willingness to arrive in your own design
SUNSHINE
There will be pain and blessings, smiles and tears, both will be ok, both are needed to be who we are meant to be. Without struggle we would never know freedom. Without transformation, we would never see growth. Without love there would never be pain but with no pain we would never know the depth our love can reach.
To arrive in our own design, to me, means that we arrive with all our emotions, our lessons, our grief, our sorrows. To bring our joys , our trials and triumph and that we arrive in our fullest capacity to delicately transform with clarity that some things are never clear just a necessary part of our design.
Stand in the rays of glory and surrender to rejuvenation and renewal.
~Kerri-Elizabeth~
Within your rays
Prayers are arranged
Glory speaks to the heart
Reflection meets presence
Resemblance delivers peace
Surrender rejuvenates intuition
Renewal arrives with ease
It is in your image
Under your rays
Renewal stays
Sunshine
When you just stand under the rays of Gods grace, the energy of this miracle will embrace you in your place. It will renew you, rejuvenate you and it will speak to you in the presence of surrendering to a voice that is most loving.
We tend to be hardest on ourselves and can question our thoughts and our emotions to a point confusion tires and clutters our intuitions and turns our knowing into a guessing game of maybes.
I have found that just even a moment under the rays renews my spirit and fills me with gratitude and my breathing becomes calmer and somehow I am delivered into peace with ease.
It is the rays of sunshine and the lakes and river waters I am called often, to hear the most steady voice and in this I am fully revived.
Find what that is for you and be called to it and listen.
SONSHINE FOR YOU 