Are you someone that sees more of what’s ahead than what’s in front of you?
Balancing seeing ahead and being present are all part of loving every moment too…..right?
This path is one with many twist and turns, healing and failing, falling and bouncing, looking up and down and side to side wondering in moments , are you really present or dreaming ahead.
All are necessary and all require you to be there, just because your dreaming ahead doesn’t mean your not present, it means your presently dreaming ahead.
The most important part is, are you aware that’s what you’re doing? There is where presence requires more of you.
So dream ahead with intention.
Feel at a depth that grows you.
Receive at a depth that knows you.
Learn at a depth that shows you.
Believe at a depth that restores you.
And love every moment that calls you, just be aware of how long you visit.
Do you think you spend more of your day aware or going through the motions of life more unaware?
I am more than the child that grew up with fight or flight emotions and feelings
An imposter lived here, a fearful, unready and unwilling part of me
In control of nothing but wanting to control everything
Living in a darkness of the world
Running into it at the same time I was running away from it
Religion captured me and gave me a safe box to live in for years
“Oh,” God is very real to me, but religion is no longer a vice
That box got smaller as experiences got bigger and it didn’t make sense to live there anymore
I couldn’t breathe
I couldn’t talk
I couldn’t move
I couldn’t escape the judgment of what I was told I needed to do and not what my deeper self was calling me to do
I was screaming inside for years
As if I was watching myself from a distance, I observed so much confusion and pain
Filled with insecurities grounded in shame and blame that I could never do enough to erase
What I faced was the habit energy
The energy that was continually lived in fight or flight , over compensations, under compensations and so much more
While smiling and living I was also dyeing
I was raising kids while raising myself
I was married while not even understanding what that required
I lived small because small seemed bigger than what I felt capable of handling at times
I lived on others terms because I had no idea life had terms I had the power to make
I knew deep within there was more
I knew deep within I had more
I chose more of myself many times, to then allow doubt to loosen my grip
I had no idea how to break through to that next place
Disapointing others while listening to my own calling was like climbing Mt. Everest with no training
That’s when I realized it was going to mean I had to disappoint myself
It all required me to re-train myself
I had to change my story and I was going to have to reject the current narrative and disapoint myself by announcing I was more than the skin I had lived in all these years
That would seem like a milestone in gratitude to many, however it meant to me, I had to invite part of myself to move out
I had to leave behind the blame, the shame and the rejections not just of my own but from others
I now could give myself safety
I now could stand strong for me
I could say I mattered
I could say NO
I now could disapoint another to show up for myself, knowing that the disappointment was their journey and I had no business fixing it
I had to thank the space and move away, bless it for the experiences and lessons and leave it behind
It wasn’t supposed to become me, it was suppose to teach me
It did
At the exact time it was suppose to
It happened in loss
It happend in change
It happened in pain
It happened in tears
It didn’t happen with joy or laughter
It happend when I felt no hope
It happend when I was empty
When I was my most challenged
It happened in anger
In rejections
It happened in misunderstandings I had to let go of and allow the teaching of it
It happened in letting go of people I thought would never leave
It happend in the learning of how to have a relationship with my son from the heavens, instead of in the physical presence
It happened in sickness
It happened in the lowest times, the hardest times, the most doubtful times
It is still happening and I understand that these times are never to be wished away , but to be observed with new insight
To look into pain and to ache while you smile is part of life’s best and most insightful journeys to success
Happiness is a foundation that requires remodeling continually
Gentleness and strength co-exist for good, where cruelty lives within its own anguish and storm of core weakness it must persevere to overcome.
~Kerri-Elizabeth~
Approaching the wind within a storm
In the dusk of night
An unbroken breeze blows by in a rush
Protection and honor stand near
Weakness lurks through the clouds
Roaring with counterfeit strength
Danger is uncovered
Revealed under the moon
Dusk is broken and starlights glimmer
Must a wave be broken to fall
Must brokenness be inevitable
Stars erupt within another cosmic space
Still seen with openness and grace
Gentleness is strength often mistaken for less
Where cruelty is another’s weakness at best
True kindness is organic unable to repress
Courage is fierce and needs not to impress
Must grief dive so deep it shatters open the skies
Yes, it must
It will be the shattering that inpsires your strength
It will be the grief that erupts your soul into its truest self
It will be the inevitable brokenness ravaging your heart
Before you start to see that grief is a gift you will need
TO LIVE COURAGEOUSLY UNVEILED
Sunshine
To all my readers, it is with a grateful and full heart I thank you for supporting, reading, encouraging and becoming my dear friends over the years. Thank you to you all.
My writing is always evolving and changing as it has over the years as life changes and healing happens and challenges occur. I am always most inspired by the deepest challenges in life and write my best when life is cracking me wide open.
It is within the cracking open I have my biggest growth spurts and see deeper and deeper, showing me we are truly infinite energy with no end.
As we all know, energy can be used for good or for cruelty to ourselves and others, make no mistake their are both kinds and both cross paths and it is in that we will learn to be more alert, to find our deepest truths, tap into our believe system at a deeper level, It is not within churches or people but straight from the arms of our Creator.
Breathe in all your pain and all your grief and then breathe it out in fiercely placed courage and let it empower and strengthen your entire life and others, it is not for borrow or buy , it is not to be taken or left, it is yours always. USE IT or someone else will abuse it!
An experience requires presence, presence requires connection, both dance together on a foundation of trust and truth, without one of these a gap is left to chance.
~Kerri-Elizabeth~
When paths cross
Memories are etched in time
History is created
Lessons are learned
While the heart logs every turn
Nothing remains but an experience
In the experience we have created
Through the experience purpose is build
Among the experience shifts take place
Growth takes on new meanings
Purpose becomes more important
Loss trickles in and reminds you nothing remains
Where the heart remembers the experience you gained
Calling you to be more
To let go of fear and failures
To believe in your truth
To live more
To love more
To connect more
To look into life with eyes from heaven
Sunshine
In this unsettled time in life and a global distress, an awakening of emotions and connection has become clear. We want more connection, more authenticity, more of each other and less separation. We only have this moment, what is next is unknown and if this moment is left without true and trusting connection, we have chosen to be alone. For some this may be exactly what you want. For most I see an awakening for deeper connections with family and friends and ourselves.
Connect with the joys of life, pets, family, adventure, faith, believing in oneself more, growth, learning, education and so much more….. When you lay your head down at night, are you proud of yourself for all you have shared, were you kind, loving, compassionate, truthful and did you learn something new?
Did you treat the ones you love with an inspired attitude and love, to create the love you want in return?
It seems the stillness is where everything is found
Where movement comes alive
Where the waves crashing tell a story
Where the leaves dance and sing with glory
Where the birds soar with intension
Where pain and joy have no tension
Where love remains throughout
It seems in the stillness is where everything is found
Where feeling is in the beat of your heart
Where your mind sinks into a rational peace
It seems that in the stillness is where everything is found
When your lost, be still, you will hear the whisper
Be still it is where everything is found
SUNSHINE
In my stillness I can feel the intensity of all that moves around me. I can feel my heart beating and my chest rising. I can almost see with inner eyes the blood flowing through me. I can see the pain in another eyes and wonder is that the reflection of so much more to be healed within me?
Where you are calm you will hear, where you are still you will know, where you find peace, love will grow.
Your body is already speaking to you, it wants more or less of something, it may be in pain, or sickness or anger has driven a wedge between you and stillness. Sadness may be filled with joyful gestures to cover up the feeling we can’t seem to shake and loss may be settling in your bones with numbness you can’t seem to touch.
What if all of this is ok and what if all of this is the beautiful process we need to become our truest version of ourselves. What if who you are right now is exactly who you need to be ,to become who you want to be. What if every step from this space is a step forward into the acceptance, it is the process. It is the falling apart that requires us to heal.
It is when you realize all attachments to emotions are like rain.
~Kerri Elizabeth~
Within every rain drop a mystery
Power in a rain-drop creates history
Anticipation of more appears
Raindrops enter like heaven’s tears
Cleansing all thats near
How many are there
Where did they hide
Is there matter attached inside
How does condensation appear
With weather, with temperature, with the clouds near
Why don’t the clouds fall down
Does a raindrop feel the ground
Raindrops inspiring curiosity and wonder
Often joined by sunshine and thunder
Watering the earth
Filling the lakes
Provoking inspiration through Gods grace
SUNSHINE
Somedays will be so hard you wonder, how and where, what and why? What is hard now , won’t seem hard later, your strength is always challenged by the coming together and falling apart of life. The rain will come, it will wash away some things and it will dam up others.
It will depend where you are standing when it rains, you must decide when the rain is talking to you and when its cleansing you. Is it moving you or is it cleansing you and how will you know?
Nature always explains everything, it is the grace of God speaking.
You may not see grace in it, you may only see fear or grief and so many other feelings of despair you just don’t want to bare.
When you stand in the grace the emotions will not be attachments but simply rain drops reminding you, you’re alive!
It is during the climb where you gain strength, then at the horizon you learn, you have to go down, the peaks will vary and so will you, it is in the infinitely divine strength no wavering will be build in you.
~Kerri Elizabeth~
Over and under
Around and around
Abound, rise up, decide
Reflect your light
Time doesnt wait
Wait not for time
Change occurs
You’ll endure
You’ll fall and then stand tall
Shoulders back
Make an impact
Life is a gift
It comes and then it goes
Unwrap your soul
Free your spirit
Receive…..
Grace!
The pace inside is based on our own courage to surrender the entangled knots inside to the stillness that knows no time or restraints!
~Kerri Elizabeth~
Perpetual perseverance
Demands its authority
Appearing through emotions
Tears overflow integrated and entangled
Happiness, sadness and surrender have no separation
Inevitable movement continues
“Stop please”, I ask, “just for a moment”
“Slow down, I dont want to miss a second”
The ocean responds, ” I am ”
SUNSHINE
There are times inside the chaos and the history of trauma and our pasts get so knotted up inside we can not feel the stillness, there is a lack of movement and oxygen.
When I get to this place I always realize I am holding my breathe, not trusting and worrying about things I can not control. Then a dilemma, when I decide and realize what I can change, often it’s not what I want to change.
This brings anxiety and it all starts to overflow and tears come like a dam that just broke. It is inevitable, emotions will move, our lives move, our bodies move, our lungs take in and let out air, movement. Our hearts beat, our blood moves, our world continues and the pace inside must find a way to courageously let go and flow with peace and stillness.
Stillness is not without movement. This is a term set out to teach one to stop and feel what is moving without additional purposeful movement, such as the heart and lungs, and our blood flowing.
Meditation and body position invite courage to surrender giving room for oxygen to change the chemistry of the emotion and anxiety to freedom.
Emotions are not road blocks, they are the hardware of your internal compass guiding you to success, malfunctioning happens in the chaos before entering presence.
~Kerri Elizabeth~
Your my wind
The sun I see
Waterfalls in front of me
Your the rumble of the earths call
Your in nature centering it all
Your the waves in the ocean
My emotions
Your my heart beating
Your the footprints I see before me
Your there
Your everywhere
I saw you fly by
Leaving me a jet-stream in the sky
Your in the crickets singing lullabies
I hear you whisper, “Momma don’t cry
Look at me, wild and free
Success momma, is a place, you’ll see
Your set free to be
No separation from the land and sea
I’m with you MY MOMMA eternally”
SUNSHINE
As some of you know and others will hear along the way, my son passed on to his new place on July 30, 2017. There is never a day I don’t talk about him and never a day I won’t. Some people don’t know what to say, others don’t know how to hear the joy in the tears when I share. So silence has been my healing space, a place where Zak meets me face to face.
Silence gives room for emotions without the interference of chaos.
The capacity to understand is beyond me, I simply ride the wave and learn as I go. Emotions take over most of the time. I used to think I had to learn to control the emotions. In my meditation and silence I agonized in thought I had to accept(which I haven’t and as of now, it not on my list of somehow) that my son is gone. Because to me what works, is believing in the signs he’s here, it’s different that’s clear. However that’s my reality and the way the movie of emotions play in the silence inspired by every wave.
Accepting another way wasn’t working for me, instead I gave in, surrendering to the silence within, visualizing emotion in space, allowing it to be, as if it was a movie in front of me telling me a story, it showed me something profound.
Its your movie, its your story, let it play, let it make sounds, let it guide your way. Surrender to the silence where the movie can play without interference of the chaos in the day. This is where the chaos stops playing and emotions can be set free to find their way successfully.
It is up to you to allow emotions to have wings, they need room to fly, to experience and thrive, they can’t grow or go if they are trapped in the chaos of our minds.
Silence is stillness within, it doesn’t have to be without movement or a physical paralysis, it is within, a decision to let go of the wings you tie down on each emotion found. Let them fly in the sky, let them be free to be, to find there flight path succefully.
SONSHINE FOR YOU 