alignment

From Blogging to New Beginnings: My Story

Posted on by Kerri Elizabeth
A serene seascape with a wooden deck in the foreground, featuring an inspiring quote about determination by Kerri Elizabeth. The sky is light blue with soft clouds, and the calm water reflects the colors of the sky.

Change requires a presence, presence requires a change and both need acknowledgment to serve purpose.

~Kerri-Elizabeth~

Change is inevitable

To all that have followed my Blog for years and been so supportive of me. I appreciate you and love reading your blogs. I enjoy hearing your beautiful stories about life, love, art, and so many other things. Closing my blog to embrace change has been a difficult decision but a necessary one.

I will soon close my blog down. The process of saving and backing up all my work is no small task. Please enjoy reading and writing to me for the next couple of weeks, and then I will send my final good-bye.

I have a new project, I have been working on for years off and on. I am going into the final stages of finishing it. Closing my blog to embrace change will help me focus on this new venture.

This has been a beautiful place to heal and write and so many of you have been such great supporters.

My son’s cancer journey

I started writing for one reason. That soon changed. I began writing my heart and soul out during a long battle. My son, Zakary Ryan, battled Acute lymphoblastic leukemia. He was 19 when diagnosed. At 24, he left behind his physical body to explore new territory. Nothing has been more heart wrenching and life changing for me. Closing my blog to embrace change hasn’t come without many emotions.

Zakary’s journey changed me and continues to. I am now headed into my 8th year of developing a new and most profound relationship with him. What was taken, lost and emptied out is being filled with new knowledge. He is gently guiding me and as I listen more, he moves me more, sometimes not so gently actually. He is a force to be reckoned with.

It is time to close out this part of my journey. It has been changed and transformed a few times over. I have clarity this part of the journey has served its purpose and place. It’s time to say good-bye and embrace closing my blog for the change it will bring.

Sunshine

Sunshine is my soul voice. It is the deepest, most aligned, and authentic version of me. This happens when I am tuned in, of course. My life as everyone’s does, goes in and out of noisy times. Mine is noisy around me and taking extra effort to stay grounded and focused. As I have taken time from Social Media platforms I have noticed a significant change in my concentration and focus. What was an experiment is moving me to shut it down completely. The next couple weeks I will be shutting down all avenues except email and phone of course to contact me.

It has taken some time to evaluate this decision while entering into a new phase of learning and experiences.

I value this experience with WP and everyone here. Nevertheless, it is time to leave now. I have a very big project ahead. Can I do it all? YES, but will I be fully aware while staying connected to my most authentic self? Closing my blog to embrace change will allow me to focus and be fully attentive.

Good-byes

Isn’t there a phrase that teaches us, when one door closes another opens? It’s time to close this door but keep the experience with so many beautiful lessons.

I have tried different avenues to keep this door open while still pursuing the finish of my current project. Every door slam I hear moves me farther into a period of concentration and full presence. This decision wasn’t made quickly but carefully. Closing my blog to embrace change feels like the right step ahead.

Thank you

Thank you for being here when I really needed other voices and friendships to share with. Meaningful voices here have been such a comfort for me during some really tough times. This blog carries many emotional journeys. It is my story from a depth you don’t see on the surface. Thank you to you all.

Bursting for action in 2024

Posted on by Kerri Elizabeth

For me 2023 gifted me a platform to realize just because we spend our whole lives thinking one way , doesn’t mean it will be that way and growth is hard and it requires pain and being uncomfortable and feeling all the things you wish away most often.

It’s in those moments you want to wish away that have the most significant impact of change and growth for your future best self, so keep going through it until you reach the other side, don’t stop at the worst parts, notice them , feel them and have gratitude for it all.

My title ahead for 2024 is full speed ahead… you?

Posted on by Kerri Elizabeth

YOU ARE MORE

Posted on by Kerri Elizabeth

You are more than what you thought defined you!

~Kerri-Elizabeth~

I am more than the child that grew up with fight or flight emotions and feelings

An imposter lived here, a fearful, unready and unwilling part of me

In control of nothing but wanting to control everything

Living in a darkness of the world

Running into it at the same time I was running away from it

Religion captured me and gave me a safe box to live in for years

“Oh,” God is very real to me, but religion is no longer a vice 

That box got smaller as experiences got bigger and it didn’t make sense to live there anymore

I couldn’t breathe

I couldn’t talk

I couldn’t move

I couldn’t escape the judgment of what I was told I needed to do and not what my deeper self was calling me to do

I was screaming inside for years

As if I was watching myself from a distance, I observed so much confusion and pain

Filled with insecurities grounded in shame and blame that I could never do enough to erase

What I faced was the habit energy

The energy that was continually lived in fight or flight , over compensations, under compensations and so much more

While smiling and living I was also dyeing

I was raising kids while raising myself

I was married while not even understanding what that required

I lived small because small seemed bigger than what I felt capable of handling at times

I lived on others terms because I had no idea life had terms I had the power to make

I knew deep within there was more

I knew deep within I had more

I chose more of myself many times, to then allow doubt to loosen my grip

I had no idea how to break through to that next place

Disapointing others while listening to my own calling was like climbing Mt. Everest with no training

That’s when I realized it was going to mean I had to disappoint myself

It all required me to re-train myself

I had to change my story and I was going to have to reject the current narrative and disapoint myself by announcing I was more than the skin I had lived in all these years

That would seem like a milestone in gratitude to many, however it meant to me, I had to invite part of myself to move out

I had to leave behind the blame, the shame and the rejections not just of my own but from others

I now could give myself safety

I now could stand strong for me

I could say I mattered

I could say NO

I now could disapoint another to show up for myself, knowing that the disappointment was their journey and I had no business fixing it

I had to thank the space and move away, bless it for the experiences and lessons and leave it behind

It wasn’t supposed to become me, it was suppose to teach me

It did

At the exact time it was suppose to

It happened in loss

It happend in change

It happened in pain

It happened in tears

It didn’t happen with joy or laughter

It happend when I felt no hope

It happend when I was empty

When I was my most challenged

It happened in anger

In rejections

It happened in misunderstandings I had to let go of and allow the teaching of it

It happened in letting go of people I thought would never leave

It happend in the learning of how to have a relationship with my son from the heavens, instead of in the physical presence

It happened in sickness

It happened in the lowest times, the hardest times, the most doubtful times

It is still happening and I understand that these times are never to be wished away , but to be observed with new insight

To look into pain and to ache while you smile is part of life’s best and most insightful journeys to success

Happiness is a foundation that requires remodeling continually

 

Sunshine

Align Again

Posted on by Kerri Elizabeth
Change is embraceable only when you spend more time standing in the change then paralyzed in the emotion.

~Kerri-Elizabeth~

In the consumption of experience complete overflow spills over

No comfort zone to this process

A complete and deliberate graceful transcendence must arrive

A wake-up to what is inside

Memories flow and triggers of the past simultaneously let go

The breakdown and astonishment render inspired risk to be free

Anger must be unmasked as its true self to transform into awareness and not control

As the waves create white caps and the wind howls with fury

I am reminded to be still and let go of worry

Control masks itself and hides its insecurity and the wind forces its abrupt revealing

Inner conversations of fear disengage the heart and build among the scars

Consciousness must arise and trauma is a reminder to align again the heart, body, mind and soul

Purge tension and evacuate from familiarity and risk courage on an unknown path

Invite peace and solitude to your present state

Trust in the disassembling inside and arise to the peaceful place you can reside

Sunshine

A different View

Posted on by Kerri Elizabeth

 

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Perspective is an ever-changing event, a willingness to bend and turnaround, it is created through movement inside and out and inspired by experiences all around.

~Kerri-Elizabeth~

Where you stand is the perspective at hand

Turn around, stand upside down

Perspective is different all around

From ones eyes, organization may apply

From another’s eyes a mess is addressed

Alignment depends on where you stand

Not an understanding of what is planned

With two views communication can be misused

There is no one that can see exactly like you

The core of who we are is the focal point of near and far

Past and present play a part

Memory is stored in our heart

Experiences inspire our perspective

Perspective is built from our experiences

Planting seeds is how the forest grows

Tearing it down gives you different results

Build your perspective with grace

Understanding it is different in another’s space

SUNSHINE

 

These photos are the exact same log with the same rock stacks, nothing was changed or moved except my view.  Sometimes when we take the time to look at things from a different view we start to see something new. Something new to learn and a different experience so we can start to see other’s views too.

Forest of Life

Posted on by Kerri Elizabeth

Trees

In the forest of life, silence and stillness meet the curiosity of the night and calmness kisses your cheek goodnight.

~Kerri-Elizabeth~

 

In the faint hours of the night 

Silence is at its peak

Abundance appears 

Deep in the core there is so much more

There is stirring within the stillness

Overflowing tears and blessings given 

Like a kiss from heaven

Calmness settles in 

Everything stirring quiets again

Night falls upon the forest floors

Trees disappearing within heavens doors

Again a stirring occurs

Daylight sleepers have risen from the winds

Curiosity stirs again

Calmness settle in

Observe the changes within

SUNSHINE

STILLNESS MOVES

Posted on by Kerri Elizabeth

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In the stillness you will hear!

~Kerri-Elizabeth~

 

It seems the stillness is where everything is found

Where movement comes alive

Where the waves crashing tell a story

Where the leaves dance and sing with glory

Where the birds soar with intension 

Where pain and joy have no tension

Where love remains throughout

It seems in the stillness is where everything is found

Where feeling is in the beat of your heart

Where your mind sinks into a rational peace 

It seems that in the stillness is where everything is found 

When your lost, be still, you will hear the whisper

Be still it is where everything is found

SUNSHINE

 

In my stillness I can feel the intensity of all that moves around me. I can feel my heart beating and my chest rising. I can almost see with inner eyes the blood flowing through me.  I can see the pain in another eyes and wonder is that the reflection of so much more to be healed within me?

Where you are calm you will hear, where you are still you will know, where you find peace, love will grow.

Your body is already speaking to you, it wants more or less of something, it may be in pain, or sickness or anger has driven a wedge between you and stillness. Sadness may be filled with joyful gestures to cover up the feeling we can’t seem to shake and loss may be settling in your bones with numbness you can’t seem to touch.

What if all of this is ok and what if all of this is the beautiful process we need to become our truest version of ourselves. What if who you are right now is exactly who you need to be ,to become who you want to be. What if every step from this space is a step forward into the acceptance, it is the process. It is the falling apart that requires us to heal.

LOVE, SUNSHINE

Raindrops

Posted on by Kerri Elizabeth
  • rain-drops

It is when you realize all attachments to emotions are like rain.

~Kerri Elizabeth~

Within every rain drop a mystery 

Power in a rain-drop creates history

Anticipation of more appears

Raindrops enter like heaven’s tears

Cleansing all thats near

How many are there

Where did they hide

Is there matter attached inside

How does condensation appear

With weather, with temperature, with the clouds near

Why don’t the clouds fall down

Does a raindrop feel the ground

Raindrops inspiring curiosity and wonder

Often joined by sunshine and thunder

Watering the earth 

Filling the lakes

Provoking inspiration through Gods grace

 

SUNSHINE

Somedays will be so hard you wonder, how and where, what and why? What is hard now , won’t seem hard later, your strength is always challenged by the coming together and falling apart of life. The rain will come, it will wash away some things and it will dam up others.

It will depend where you are standing when it rains, you must decide when the rain is talking to you and when its cleansing you. Is it moving you or is it cleansing you and how will you know?

Nature always explains everything, it is the grace of God speaking.

You may not see grace in it, you may only see fear or grief and so many other feelings of despair you just don’t want to bare.

When you stand in the grace the emotions will not be attachments but simply rain drops reminding you, you’re alive!

I searched for you and me

Posted on by Kerri Elizabeth
She dared herself to live with courage and found courage in living!
~Kerri-Elizabeth~

I searched for you and me

I looked high and low, in front and behind every tree

I glanced off the cliffs below

I searched long and hard, did you know

In the clouds and in the lakes

I searched rivers and mountains with no breaks

I called for you and no one replied

I cried for you inside

I drove miles and miles looking for a glimpse to pull aside

I longed for you and knew you longed for me

To find you was beyond my reach

I was looking for you 

Missing every queue

I looked for the depth of what I should be

Who someone else wanted to see

I lost sight of my own dreams

I thought I was lost where I once was found

Then one day courage stood its ground

Vulnerability spoke with a fierce sound

Wherever you go, there you will be

I’m you and me

~Kerri Elizabeth

When we experience life, life is also experiencing us, I believe. When we go farther and faster and search for ourselves instead of the experiences that creates our selves ,we miss the queues that it is ourselves we are escaping.

When we run from ourselves, we run from our faith, our beliefs, our dreams and our core foundation. When we deny our own existence is not enough because of someone else’s opinion or judgement, then we deny our ability to grow, to serve, to lead, to inspire, to be driven, to reach, to grasp courage with all your might and LIVE beyond limitations set by ourselves or others.

We become stuck within another or others lives and deny our own growth waiting for another growth. The best gift you can give yourself and another is the freedom to be loved at the exact place you are so they have room to move forward. This is courageous!

LIVE WITH COURAGE!