A WARRIORS MOTHER WITH LOVE

Posted on by Kerri Elizabeth

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There is no choice other than love for me, I am a warrior’s mother chosen to be.

Kerri Elizabeth

Relapse into the greatest love of all.

Relapse is a word that explains, time to kick ass and take names.

A good cry and a few swear words will suffice and then action and believing is my own advice.

The news hit hard, the words took charge, my heart dropped a few beats and my chest became tight and landed at my feet.

My brain lost oxygen, nearing the feeling of passing out, the initial feeling has to make its way out.

Tears soaked my face; shaking took over me from the inside feeling the memory of the pain he had to endure the first time.

He doesn’t want to talk, he says he doesn’t want this in existence, he says he’s ok and I know he is, in his own explanation that’s the only way he chooses this moment to live in.

One moment at a time, he’s at work right now, writing songs and living what he loves to do.

His strength is beyond measure, his perseverance is his deepest treasure, he is full of love and compassion inside, and he has a tough exterior to some outside.

He saves his heart for only the best and those that make it inside are forever loved and protected by his warrior spirit all the time.

He takes one moment at a time and reminds me along the way, to stop and allow his journey to be his way.

He reminds me we all have a path we choose and when he gets the chance he reminds me where he learned that too.

So after a few hours have passed and tears have flooded my path and my heart has felt the impact, I now am reminded of this precious gift where both of us learned a new language gift.

Listen to me mom, with all your might, listen to me and hear me inside, look at me and see me and hear what I am telling you freely.

The only thing I would change about my childhood mom is that I would be heard without you saying a word.

I have the honor as his mother to listen to his heart and feel his music, to hear his words and hear his feelings.

I can dance to his music, laugh with his humor and cry with his pain and I can stand tall and remember I was given this position as his mother, trusted and chosen to be the strongest warrior’s mother.

So my shoulders are back, my posture is stellar, my mind is intact, my oxygen is level.

My spirit will carry me through the shift in the wind, and I will keep the gap that divides my fears and tears with pure love within.

He is a warrior child and he is my son, there is nothing inside that will tear that down, his strength and determination is more than profound.

So today will pass in an hour or so and tomorrow will bring me another day to continue to show him that I am listening without a word to whatever he feels he can put into words.

Every moment matters and I will continue to be, strength, perseverance, determination and purpose to be a warrior’s mother every day.

He  has a girlfriend beautiful and bright, she radiates love and light, her heart abounds with passion in life and she has made it inside to his warrior life.

He has three sisters as well and let me tell you this army of love has nothing but strength in it.

There are always choices except this one, love is the only option in this family, there is nothing bigger than our hearts working together as one.

With all the love that surrounds him and the strongest love within him, he is always an inspiration to me and to anyone honored to be around him, look for him and see, he is a musician and a writer of his own music and beat.

SUNSHINE on every MOMENT with LOVE as the only option and component.

A Shift In The Wind

Posted on by Kerri Elizabeth

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A shift in the wind gives us choices to make.

Kerri Elizabeth

When the wind blows harder the resistance and or excitement to go out in it takes its place.

I am now moved to decide, do I go or do I stay within?

When the wind blows I am allowed a decision to make.

When the wind blows I have a feeling that is no mistake.

When the wind blows I have choices I can take.

I can create a story out of what I see in its wake.

I can stand in it and feel the wind on my face.

I can resist it and fall into it and see if it will holds me up or I fall on my face.

I can trust it and believe its presence has a purpose and place.

I can believe it can be bottled up and sent off, I can sell it and make a profit on top.

Whether you believe it or buy it or share it or feel it, prove it, live it, love it, compare it, it is only inside you how personal it is and no one can decide for you that place you live in.

The evolution of my growing has been best served in knowing that when I remember who I am, I am moved to decide, do I go or do I stay within?

The flicker inside of me, the wind that blows by me, the waves that crash on me, the inspiration shining around me, the light coming from me, the words that fill me, the life that leads me, the knowledge building in me, move me inside to decide, do I go or do I stay within?

Staying within the moment is my processing place, like simmering dinner or marinating a steak, like making the best slowly thought out chocolate cake.

What I won’t decide is how you will interpret the wind, how you will assimilate it within.

What I do know is I feel the wind blow and then decide, do I go or do I stay within?

I’m grateful for the love within that holds me up when the wind blows by me, the waves crash on me and I am grateful for your sharing around me and the knowledge that grounds me.

I am grateful for the opportunities that life gives me to feel a familiar wind and be reminded I have a choice to go in it or stay within, to react or respond and or repeat it differently or the same again.

I am grateful for the wind that blows around me and the choices I am served that may change me, challenge me, teach me,  and ground me.

They lead me to the very place of deciding what I can do to serve love all around me.

Sun shining rays of light that have guided me on my path, enjoy the rays that may inspire you and continue to share with me how you decide to feel the wind around you?

The Gap That Divides Us

Posted on by Kerri Elizabeth

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I learned that the gap that connects words and feelings, people and places and religion and races is the gap of division I created myself by allowing the perception of anything other than love itself.

Kerri Elizabeth 

Things I have learned.

Saying the word water does not make me wet.

Saying I can swim doesn’t mean I can swim.

Saying I can run without running does not mean I can run.

Saying I am not upset until I am not upset does not fill in the gap for me between love and being upset.

No matter what you say to me, I must feel it and let it be, to move through it as I grow is my own gap only I get to go to.

I simply have to close in the gap, it is a quiet place where I can reach higher than me.

For me, it’s God, my safe quiet place where I am held in a deep embrace, where no judgment or words have a place, where silence is my grace.

I have learned that words have a place, feeling them is each individuals dividing place.

Where a higher source can be felt and embracing that is the place where the gap is embraced.

There is no empty space between you and me; to me it is a gap that is often seen as a safety place, a division, a boundary, a protection place, a choice we have in how our own interpretation is made.

I learned that the gap between two walls is often a place where I fall.

I learned that falling into the deep embrace of exactly what fills that space is the eternal love that I can feel and saying it doesn’t make it real, I have to go in it and feel.

I don’t know what that place is for you; I just know that gap between each person and word is a place all your own you can be heard.

Sunshine on your own journey, your way, your feelings, how you choose to live, that is the gap I found forgiveness within.

I learned that if I waited for someone else to change based on what I know they did, that left the gap for me to live in a waiting hall for someone else’s choice on how they want to live.

SUNSHINE in the gap of every dividing place, it is where I learned I exist.

Four Parts to My Heart!

Posted on by Kerri Elizabeth

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Four children, four spirits and four hearts, my three daughter’s and my son, our love is priceless and can never be undone.

Kerri Elizabeth

I love you the four parts of my heart.

Four parts to my heart, my three daughters and my son.

They grew up so beautiful, all of them, with the most amazing hearts and minds and love in them..

I have lived with them all moved out now for a year, you’d think it would be easier and I’d shed less tears.

I love seeing them grow and want to explore, I love that they all love to experience more.

I love the smiles, the enchanted talks, the hours on the phone and the dates and the walks.

I love meeting them one by one and seeing and hearing tell me all about their life on the run.

I love the late talks and sometimes tears, the fears we have all grown out of through the years.

Over the hills and through the woods with stories that will never get old.

In all the funny ways we told each other, “I love you” through the years, they have filled me and moved me and taught me to breathe, to live, to laugh, to take time to be free.

I love you my children, your smiles, your hugs, your laughter, your tears, your years of love.

I love you my children for each moment I have shared with you, the nights of talks, the endless lectures you endured, running miles, working out, eating healthy most of the time and allowing sugar on weekends were sometimes fun.

I love you the four parts to my heart, my three daughters and my son.

Even when I haven’t been the best mother, even when I lose my mind now and then, thank you for loving me all the time, for forgiving and living the love within and always knowing I’d be back to give hugs and kisses and start again.

I love you all every second of every day.

I love you all no matter how far apart we live.

I love you all so very much, no words can explain my love enough.

I love you each of you the most and I love all the years you knew it was you and still to this day it holds true.

I love you the four parts to my heart, my three daughters and my son.

Sunshine

Seeing For You Is Blinding Me!

Posted on by Kerri Elizabeth

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Seeing for you leaves me blinded by me!

Kerri-Elizabeth

Seeing for you is blinding me.

When judgement sneaks in our sights are on more than being.

Are you spending time thinking what others think and missing your own life in every blink?

I learned a very good lesson recently taking what I thought was a risk and going butt naked and free on a beach with clothes optional I decided to just be.

The biggest evolution in my judgement for me came the moment I took every stitch off and set my body free.

As I looked around to see some with clothes and some without, I realized everyone was there for themselves to be left with no judgement for me or themselves.

I have spent all my life in fitness and health and allowed myself to manifest pressure inside myself.

When I couldn’t get my body to look like her I would work really hard to learn to just love and accept all of my curves.

When I learned to accept myself as I was , it was then I started to change and grow into a better self.

I was holding on to what I didn’t realize, it wasn’t at all judgement directed at me it was my own judgment on everyone else I was thinking for instead of me.

Why did I think everyone was looking at me and why did I think for hundreds of people just being free?

This all brought a question to my mind, are we all living in life thinking for more than ourselves?

To teach is to live and to show the way, to teach is not to tell someone else what to think or say.

To live what you say and take action every day shows experiences that will impact others along the way.

Living life and believing in your purpose is authentic and true and takes away the false sense of self-worth from others that don’t live inside of you.

Not everyone has to learn like me, going on a beach letting go of clothes to be free.

This was however what I chose to see; it opened my eyes to so much of my judgement  that I actually had no idea was truly blinding me.

Now when I think, “they or he or she or them” is usually the beginning of a judgement again.

We all learn every day and this one way impacted me in so many ways.

Sharing Sunshine on life where the sun has never shined!

Sunshine

Compost For Your Growth

Posted on by Kerri Elizabeth

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Let yesterday’s weeds be today’s compost for the garden of your life to grow organically edible!

Kerri Elizabeth

Have you ever wondered what tomorrow will bring?

Have you ever thought about too many things?

Have you ever wanted to do something new?

Have you ever jumped in the ocean nude?

Have you ever just let every thought go, looking out to see nature’s show?

Have you ever experienced unconditional love?

Have you ever just woke up and took a trip with nothing in hand except the feeling and a look?

Have you ever just let go of the thought “I can’t” and did it before that thought took camp?

Have you ever raced someone to the top and when you thought you were even and had a shot they darted past with a smile at the top?

Have you ever been hurt so deeply by love that you felt as though breathing was an option and not part of our own true love?

Have you ever jumped into the sea and experienced a new side of being free?

Have you ever just given your last dime, and trusted it would be perfectly divine?

Have you ever trusted so much that love, disappointment, expectations and experiences all come and go and add strength to what we know?

Have you ever thought that right now is the moment love is embracing you, can you feel it and not ask how?

Ask and inspire creative ways, share it, live it, experience it along your way, give it, receive it, make a way, were all here together, nothing is in the way if the question is simply asking ,” how many more visions am I adding in today to the life legacy I am creatively building every day?”

Keep adding new visions along the way, write them, share them, and let them grow.

When weeds show up, pull them out, look at them, feel them and lay them down they make the most beautiful organic compost ever found.

Let the weeds of your life be compost for your growth, resisting them and continuing to wonder what to do, leave them more time to grow inside of you.

Sunshine

Pace is Your Own Embrace

Posted on by Kerri Elizabeth

Growing at your own pace is the true growth to embrace, growing at someone else’s pace is not your growth place. 

Kerri Elizabeth

Growing at my pace.

Loving and learning is a beautiful place.

Watching and listening to the human race.

There are so many differences to appreciate.

The beauty in everyone is rarely seen by anyone.

The most beautiful part of perception is no one sees the same.

It invites ideas and conversation we can take and evaluate and let them all take shape in the evolution of our pace.

The universe has a pace and part of that beautiful place, are moments and people living their own truth and grace.

Telling the sun to hurry up to rise at your pace is not going to change the sun’s perfect pace.

The most beautiful thing I have learned along my journey in life is to be me and let go of the place where I thought you wanted me to be.

Now I know without a doubt it is only me I can be and to grow I must grow from being me, not who you want me to be.

When I let go of need and allowed who was me, I saw a shift in the world where I already fit without need or try, it just was and I didn’t have to ask why.

The outside O’clock of time became clear and each moment became a place to shed fear.

It’s not about time, or a place or a person; it’s about letting go of control there has to be a reason.

When I decided to be me, and let others do the same without pushing my way, I started to grow more passion in my day.

Being who you are is the only place to grow.

Being where someone else thinks is their growth so far.

SUNSHINE on the beauty of the safety embrace, loving YOU where you are and watching you grow at your pace has taught me that loving me where I am is my own true growth place.

Sunshine

You Really Can Move a Mountain

Posted on by Kerri Elizabeth

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You can move mountains when you decide and you can move them in the ocean or keep them inside, 

Kerri Elizabeth

A mountain calling me.

Everywhere I go right now there is a mountain calling me to climb.

I don’t wonder why the feeling is real, I recognize the moment is to reveal.

Reveal my heart; reveal my soul, to let my thoughts go.

To respect my life, the gracious place that I have been blessed to embrace.

When I am called to a mountain, there is a mountain ready to talk, to hold me up, to set me still, to open my heart and to feel.

So many times in life, there is a moment that calls you somewhere, do you listen to the call or are there too many reasons you could fall?

Is it too far away, is it too hard to say, do you need to think about it more, will it be later or at all?

Do you think the feeling away, do you wait until another day?

What keeps you from the present calling, do you have responsibilities and others to see, is the decision yours to open doors?

Does following “A moment” for you mean you have to take it past more than a few?

Can you trust yourself to make a decision without anyone else?

Can you let the feeling that it may not go your way, be the very feeling that takes it away?

I walked along the way feeling called to my day; I took moments to pray and had other conversations along my way.

When I looked up ahead there was a mountain in my way, it sat in front of the sunset I was watching this day.

I love to chase sunsets and see them anywhere I go, they call me to stop and then to let it all go.

I noticed as the mountain looked at first in my way, the sun was going down direction behind it as if to  to say, this one is for you, now means don’t delay.

The mountain isn’t in my way; the mountain is a feeling guiding my way.

It was like a movie playing in front of me, that mountain was the feeling and the sunshine was my soul, my heart was showing me, I’m safe to let go.

Oh yes I see, the mountain was inside of me, the calling was clear.

The mountain and the ocean together with the sun played a beautifully designed movie, an award winning one.

The movie is NOW, not a calling later or somehow.

NOW is what I have and NOW is my choice to live, NOW be the moment you have to give.

Sunshine

TODAY IS IN EVERYDAY

Posted on by Kerri Elizabeth

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Today is in every day, be super fantastic along your way!

Kerri Elizabeth

Today all day I am a smile from ear to ear.

Today all day I am letting go of fear.

Today all day I am thankful for every tear.

Today all day I am love in every response.

Today all day I am a receiver of love and confidence.

Today all day everything is forgiven.

Today all day I am sure of who I am.

Today all day I am a Nina and a Mother.

Today all day I am a best friend to another.

Today all day I am exactly what I say.

Today all day I am breathing in sunshine for the day.

Today all day I am intentional in every way.

Today all day I am a daughter and a sister.

Today all day I am a listener and an encourager.

Today all day I am God’s child and I am grateful.

Today all day I am aware.

Today all day I am a receiver of smiles and hugs.

Today all day I love you, everyone.

SUNSHINE

Feelings or a Word

Posted on by Kerri Elizabeth

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Words are our definition decided by each of us to put together a picture that changes with the sun, be open to the seasons of new feelings and words and know they are changing perception inside each and every one.

Kerri Elizabeth

I write these posts with my eyes closed so that I can feel my heartbeat, my mind quiet and my body’s choice of the way it will compose.

 I take a deep breath and allow whatever comes to the surface take shape in my sunshine escape.

Every feeling allowed, no resisting it, no wishing it away, just feeling it as it simply comes across the page.

For so many years, I held the feelings in, thinking I could change it, push it, protect it and never look at it.

Defining every change in my life now as the ever changing seasons, knowing it will change lead me to the appreciation of the reason.

Life is a journey, no matter what you do, its growing and changing and its part of me and you.

I realized when I resisted change I was pulled into a whirlpool exchange.

When I learned to let go I was pushed out of that type of flow.

Letting go of needing to know, letting go of wanting someone else to come or go.

Letting go of needing more and changing that to,”I am part of so much more”, lead me to a place I can give more.

Being open to receive was the next seemingly impossible thing, if I could just give everything for free, then I didn’t have a price tag that would justify me.

There is no price tag that can tell your worth that was the promise I learned from HIS birth.

I was hung up on the word money for so many years; thinking the more I had would solidify my worth.

When I was blessed with the truth of having none to my name, I realized with or without the word life was giving me exactly the perfect change.

Poor is simply a word as in love, money or worth, what has impacted me the most is that when we feel instead of define, it’s the feelings, not the words that truly are divine.

So this is one of my many lessons along my way, I hope it will help you too, you have all you need, money, love and worth,  all are the same energy YOU are the defining word.

Take away the words and you’ll feel the seasons change; there will be more of everything when you are the energy exchange.

SUNSHINE